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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Even though nothing was booked?

    It was kind and hopefully appreciated OP, sounds like you prefer your new date anyway. All the best with the wedding planning.
    Yes!! Weddings are big deals!! Its just the stuff around that would annoy me

    mummy to gods gift to us

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetseven View Post
    The thing that bothers me is ... May 25th is in two days time!

    Surely you've made plans, booked things, etc. Surely guests have likewise rearranged things, especially those who might need to travel. I really think with two days to go it is too late to change. Perhaps a couple of months to go might be considered, but two days!
    2013.

    Personally I wouldn't have moved my date anymore than a day either side. May is beautiful and the aunt in question wasn't worried about two dates colliding. My ex-mil tried on something very similar to this once then I found out she was just hoping it would give my ex more time to come to his senses...turns out it was me who found their sense!

  3. #33
    OffwiththePixies's Avatar
    OffwiththePixies is offline I'm Jaz, and I'm off with the pixies all the time!
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    I could be *way* off base here, and please please note this is NOT meant to be offensive, nor is it my own personal view, and I don't know your personal situation...

    BUT.

    Could it be that because you and your DF are a same sex couple that MIL sees it as a 'wedding' instead of a Wedding.? Do you know what I mean? That maybe she feels its not a 'real' wedding because you are a same sex couple? (she might be totally cool with it - as I said I'm not sure on your own personal circumstance) was just thinking outside the box.. But maybe thats why she didn't see it as that big a deal to change the date?

    I hope I haven't offended you, I'm passionate about equal rights, I was just trying to think why someone would do that! I would be very very upset if I were you but also know how it is to have a DF that just goes along with whatever the family want... its very frustrating!

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  5. #34
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by OffwiththePixies View Post
    I could be *way* off base here, and please please note this is NOT meant to be offensive, nor is it my own personal view, and I don't know your personal situation...

    BUT.

    Could it be that because you and your DF are a same sex couple that MIL sees it as a 'wedding' instead of a Wedding.? Do you know what I mean? That maybe she feels its not a 'real' wedding because you are a same sex couple? (she might be totally cool with it - as I said I'm not sure on your own personal circumstance) was just thinking outside the box.. But maybe thats why she didn't see it as that big a deal to change the date?

    I hope I haven't offended you, I'm passionate about equal rights, I was just trying to think why someone would do that! I would be very very upset if I were you but also know how it is to have a DF that just goes along with whatever the family want... its very frustrating!
    Yep, this is what I was thinking. If I recall correctly from some of your previous posts your mil isn't all that into acknowledging that you are in a relationship so I am assuming that to her, that one extra vag!na on the alter probably means it is just a *play* wedding.

  6. #35
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    I can't believe folks think you should have moved your wedding date.. A wedding trumps a birthday party hands down. I would have told my mil to get stuffed (or rather had df tell her).

    I worry you and df have set a dangerous precedence (ie you're now in for a lifetime of mil controlling you).

    Btw good luck with the wedding plans!

  7. #36
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    Wow you are a much better and kinder person than I am!!!!

    I think it was terribly rude of her - a wedding date is a wedding date even if nothing is booked. When hubby and I set our date, it was more than a date if you know what I mean - we picked it specially and it meant so much to me before we picked where to have it.

    I would be very worried what I am marrying into. TBH the fact she felt entitled to ask you to move your wedding day speaks volumes. I would have told her to shove it.

    I completely get where you are coming from about choosing your battles however ensure you do not loose too much ground. My stepmother actually was a nightmare on the lead up and on my wedding day. I kept letting it go because I wanted to keep the peace for my dad but TBH I still have alot of resentment almost 2 years later.

    Best of luck with the big day

  8. #37
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    I wouldn't have changed my wedding day for ANYONE!!!

    I find it hard to believe you guys hadn't booked anything? Its close enough to a year out from May 25th next year, I know I had certainly booked alot of my things like cars, reception venue, celebrant etc over a year before my wedding.

    I have to agree reading along with this whole thread the whole time I was thinking the MIL doesn't think its a big deal to ask you to move it as she doesn't see it as a 'real' wedding - sorry!

    I also think its really petty to put passive aggressive comments on FB like you did. I know if my DH had written passive aggressive digs at my family all the time I would not be very happy about it and don't understand why your partner would put up with that from you! If you had a problem with moving the date (and I totally agree you shouldn't have to!!) sit down with your partner and explain why it means so much to you and both approach her parents with the reasons you don't wish to move the date - to me this is a much more adult approach.

    Without meaning to cause offense, I am asking this out of pure curiosity - what actually happens with a same sex marriage as the laws don't yet formally recognise same sex couples??!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneDoe View Post
    I wouldn't have changed my wedding day for ANYONE!!!

    I find it hard to believe you guys hadn't booked anything? Its close enough to a year out from May 25th next year, I know I had certainly booked alot of my things like cars, reception venue, celebrant etc over a year before my wedding.

    I have to agree reading along with this whole thread the whole time I was thinking the MIL doesn't think its a big deal to ask you to move it as she doesn't see it as a 'real' wedding - sorry!

    I also think its really petty to put passive aggressive comments on FB like you did. I know if my DH had written passive aggressive digs at my family all the time I would not be very happy about it and don't understand why your partner would put up with that from you! If you had a problem with moving the date (and I totally agree you shouldn't have to!!) sit down with your partner and explain why it means so much to you and both approach her parents with the reasons you don't wish to move the date - to me this is a much more adult approach.

    Without meaning to cause offense, I am asking this out of pure curiosity - what actually happens with a same sex marriage as the laws don't yet formally recognise same sex couples??!!
    Civil union :-)

    My partner and I are planning for a civil union next year and we are calling it 'our wedding' and saying 'getting married' cos it sounds a heck of a lot better than civil union

    And we will call each other wife 😃

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessandmeltrappel View Post
    K.. So the title says it all. We got engaged a year ago, set the date to the 25 of may 2013 and all. We found out that it feel on one of my DF aunties birthday. She was fine with it, infact she said "means I don't have to fork out for a party, we can all celebrate" ... So we figured everything was fine. So now a year later my mother in law has said "can't you move the wedding day because I want to throw a surprise 50 th for her" ....... Ummmm what the hell. A year ago no one cared now she wants us to move our wedding day ... For a 50 th. now my DF and I do everything for this family. We are the "couple without kids" so everyone has us on beck and call to do everything.... IMO a wedding day is a little more important than a 50 th... Couldn't they have the 50 th a week later or the next day or something... But no.... She wants us to move our wedding day (keeping in mind that everyone else in the family has already gotten married, had their day, and their kids...) ... So my DF being the person they are gave in to my mother in law, and said "we should just move the wedding" ... So I gave in, cuz they are one of those families that there's no point arguing because it won't get you anywhere.. So we set the wedding back another 6 months. It really doesn't matter what day I get married on... It's the principle. Do you agree? I was shocked that she asked us to move the wedding day... For a surprise birthday... For an Aunty... Help me... Is this what I'm marrying into?

    Should I just get over it, or was she quite rude to ask us to do that... Considering like... It's been that date fr a whole year and no one cared, and that it's our friggin wedding day man.

    Anyways I'd really appreciate my advice.. I'm not telling my family that it was my mother in law who made us change the date cuz they would just think that's rude... My family would never ask someone to move their wedding day to a birthday.
    Actually I think a 50th is just as important as a Wedding IMO. HOWEVER, your MIL should have said this when you first suggested the date not a year later. If it were me.. had I not booked anything I would change the date.. however if I'd booked stuff and it was going to cost me money to change it than no I wouldn't.

    I think it's pretty slack your MIL didn't ask you about it when you booked it but maybe she didn't think about it properly?

  11. #40
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    Last edited by lolly137; 17-09-2015 at 19:20.

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