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  1. #1
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    Default Mother in law has asked us to change our wedding day .. For a surprise party

    K.. So the title says it all. We got engaged a year ago, set the date to the 25 of may 2013 and all. We found out that it feel on one of my DF aunties birthday. She was fine with it, infact she said "means I don't have to fork out for a party, we can all celebrate" ... So we figured everything was fine. So now a year later my mother in law has said "can't you move the wedding day because I want to throw a surprise 50 th for her" ....... Ummmm what the hell. A year ago no one cared now she wants us to move our wedding day ... For a 50 th. now my DF and I do everything for this family. We are the "couple without kids" so everyone has us on beck and call to do everything.... IMO a wedding day is a little more important than a 50 th... Couldn't they have the 50 th a week later or the next day or something... But no.... She wants us to move our wedding day (keeping in mind that everyone else in the family has already gotten married, had their day, and their kids...) ... So my DF being the person they are gave in to my mother in law, and said "we should just move the wedding" ... So I gave in, cuz they are one of those families that there's no point arguing because it won't get you anywhere.. So we set the wedding back another 6 months. It really doesn't matter what day I get married on... It's the principle. Do you agree? I was shocked that she asked us to move the wedding day... For a surprise birthday... For an Aunty... Help me... Is this what I'm marrying into?

    Should I just get over it, or was she quite rude to ask us to do that... Considering like... It's been that date fr a whole year and no one cared, and that it's our friggin wedding day man.

    Anyways I'd really appreciate my advice.. I'm not telling my family that it was my mother in law who made us change the date cuz they would just think that's rude... My family would never ask someone to move their wedding day to a birthday.

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    So I posted a fb status basically saying

    "as requested we have changed our wedding date to the 22.11.13 18 months to go until our summer wedding the count down is on. P.s this date is final "

    Lol haha my mother in law stalks my fb all the time so no doubt she will read it.... Good.

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    Why did it need to be moved 6 months? I agree that asking you to move your date is a bit harsh, but I guess if nothing was booked maybe it didn't appear to her to be a big issue? Though really, she could have had the party the week before or the week after.

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    The ps this date is final is exactly what i would have said too lol and your MIL sure has a nice soon to be DIL as many others would have not kept the peace ,hope she doesnt take this as an opportunity to get her own way in the future.

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    Why couldn't you just have your wedding a week earlier?

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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    If the initial reaction had been 'oh no, it's aunties birthday could you pick another day?' I'd get their request. Like you said though, no one cared at the time. If aunty had really been bothered by it, but not wanted to say anything, I would have thought she'd speak up earlier. I can understand why you'd be aggravated by the situation, especially given their past attitude/behavior.

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    Yes very true... I'm a very good daughter in law... I do way way way way more than any future daughter in law would ever do, and I have been for years already. We're that "young couple" in the family with no kids, so everyone thinks they can walk all over us... Yes. We moved it back 6 months because then it would be a summer wedding... Least it will be warm..

    You're right, nothing much was booked in anyway... But she hasn't even taken an interest in our wedding, and then asks us to move the date...

    This family is one of these families that *****es about each other then when someone else is fighting with someone else they switch sides iykwim .... I just sit there and tell my DF " you know sweety I can see what your families all about in the bug picture" ... And she just says "stop saying stuff about my family" ..... Partly why I let this whole wedding date thing slip up..... But it's just so rude. One day when I have kids, I'd never ask my daughter in law to move her wedding date..... For my sisters 50 th...

    Haha yes I write stuff like that on FB all the time and she knows it's about her.... I love knowing she reads it it is like my secret power to them

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    Quote Originally Posted by katherinelouise View Post
    If the initial reaction had been 'oh no, it's aunties birthday could you pick another day?' I'd get their request. Like you said though, no one cared at the time. If aunty had really been bothered by it, but not wanted to say anything, I would have thought she'd speak up earlier. I can understand why you'd be aggravated by the situation, especially given their past attitude/behavior.
    Yep... Exactly you dont just ask someone to move their wedding a year later..... But she did... I just wanted to see people's general opinions. End of the day I have now moved the wedding date... I just wanted to see if I was being stupid, or if she really was rude to ask in the beginning.

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    I agree that you should have had to move your wedding date but 6 months? Why?

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    I am young, but I've always been told I have a old head on young shoulders, and I'm quite smart at getting to people, and knowing what they're all about. I let some things go... So I can win my big battles. If you know what I mean.


 

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