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  1. #51
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    If a smack doesn't hurt, then what's the point?

  2. #52
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    I personally don't think the "man smacking his wife," thing is that comparable either. For starters, a man should not be disciplining his wife. The whole purpose of a smack is to punish/disicipline. It is not a man's job to do that to his partner... but it is the job of a parent to punish/discipline their job.

    Also, if my partner smacked me on the bum like most people would smack a child, I personally wouldn't consider it abuse. I'd only consider it abuse if he did it as a means of discipline because then he'd clearly have very different ideas to me about what our roles in the relationship are. IMO we're equal - thus one has no right to think it's their right to discipline the other.

    Like I said earlier, I think smacking is a bit useless and pointless, but smacking IMO is not the same as a man beating his wife, nor is it anywhere near a parent physically abusing their child. As someone who was smacked, I've never ever considered my parents to be physically abusive, despite their smacking. If anything, I sometimes think I should have been smacked more than I was.

    As for smacking being illegal in other countries... I don't necessarily think what other countries do means anything. Many countries outlaw abortion. Some countries allow FGM. Some countries believe women are lesser than men. Some countries... etc etc.

    Again, I think smacking is kind of pointless and not effective - but I do not think it's akin to beating your child with some sort of weapon until they bleed like others seem to suggest.
    Last edited by SassyMummy; 21-05-2012 at 14:42.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    If a child isn't capable of understanding, then I think a smack can be a lot more damaging because they also wouldn't understand why they are being smacked, iykwim?
    Exactly!

  5. #54
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think a lot of parents smack out of frustration, I know when I have smacked my children it's because I am feeling frustrated and over whelmed. I don't need lessons in positive patenting I need support and a break from my children. No amount of education is going to work if you dont have the resources to implement it.

    Also, no amount of perfect parenting will create the perfect child, I'm raising my hand as a parent who 99.9% of the time parents my children positively and they can be horrors, nothing frustrates me more than when I hear "but I talk things through with my child and they are perfect" I parent my children positively as well and they will turn around and keep doing what they were doing or they will repeat the behavior again in 10 minutes time this happens all.day.long sometimes.

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  7. #55
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    Most definitely not, i put a lot more energy and effort into showing them right from wrong.

    More often than not, a smack isnt given to show the child discipline, its done so the parent can release their anger and frustration, over the fact they have no control over the situation.

    I dunno about anyone else but a large person towering over me, yelling and then hitting me because ive done something they didnt like, when im still learning about the world is terrifying, and abusive. No child should ever fear physical pain and harm.

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  9. #56
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    I smack DS on the bum on a rare occasion. Though the 1, 2,3 Magic routine seems to work most of the times, so I don't smack often at all.
    A few weeks ago I was watching a friend of mine trying to stop her 3 year old from carrying on with his tantrum. She smacked him, he smacked her back, she smacked him "Dont you hit mummy!", he smacked her "You hit me!".
    It was like watching a tennis match with the ball being the hand that smacks

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  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I think a lot of parents smack out of frustration, I know when I have smacked my children it's because I am feeling frustrated and over whelmed. I don't need lessons in positive patenting I need support and a break from my children. No amount of education is going to work if you dont have the resources to implement it.

    Also, no amount of perfect parenting will create the perfect child, I'm raising my hand as a parent who 99.9% of the time parents my children positively and they can be horrors, nothing frustrates me more than when I hear "but I talk things through with my child and they are perfect" I parent my children positively as well and they will turn around and keep doing what they were doing or they will repeat the behavior again in 10 minutes time this happens all.day.long sometimes.
    Sorry I also forgot to add that I'm finally getting that break, DS2 starts day care 2 days a week this week. Yep I'm one of those sahm who puts her child in day care- because I need a break it will help me to be a happier parent.

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  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by knomie View Post
    You can't really compare a mans 'hit' to a smack on the bum for a child. Really, do you think im going to be putting full force on the child?
    I found being shocked and enbarassed was enough for me. My parents rarely hurt me when they smacked me

    mummy to gods gift to us
    I'm very anti physical violence towards children but I wanted to just add something in regards to this.

    I think if a man/or woman smacked me even not with full force (just a small tap as some parents describe it) I would feel very belittled, very threatned, very unsafe. These are feelings I don't want my children feeling.

    When you mention feeling shocked and embarassed I also remember these feelings well from being smacked. I got hit a lot as a kid, I've had cricket ball sized bruises BUT it's the shock, embaraasment and humiliation that hurt me more. Again not what I want my daughter to feel.

    I don't judge you op btw. I'm really trying not to judge so much but I think these things are seen as normal and people are trying to change that.


    Baby wearing, co-sleeping, booby feeding mummy to one

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    iv been watching this thread for a while and there is alot of judgment going on. and its unacceptable. parents do things differently and every child ends up dif. not matter if they were smacked or not.
    a child that was not smacked could still end up hating their parents and in jail. or could end up loving and caring. same with kids that are smacked.
    i understand why people dont smack their kids, but i think you guys are being very very harsh on people who do, and it looks alot like cyber bulling to me. they are giving their opinions, like what the op wanted, and like what you guys did. maybe the guys who are judging and dont say you arnt because its obvious you are should stop.

    and i know im not going to be very popular after this, but i dont care, if you take offence to this then maybe you should look at what you are writing and think that the PERSON on the other side of the computer of phone is prob being offended on whats being written.

    having said that, i smack when needed, but i use other methods first, i have 2 hyper children very close in age, and sometimes a smack is needed.

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  17. #60
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    I think its more than a parenting issue, its a basic human rights issue. Everyone has the right to live without fear of physical harm.

    Children are people too, but in a much smaller much more fragile package. How can that be argued?

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