I have a new gold medal in my category of stupid things people say. When a bloke doing work experience at our work (in his 50's) found out my dd was Ivf he commented that 'young kids these days just don't want to wait for anything, you want it then and there'
Yep, cause I spent 5 years and thousands of dollars trying to have a baby just cause I was impatient.
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04-04-2014 13:33 #261
04-04-2014 14:40 #262
@Grebbeci, I remember when you started this thread. It's still a good read! Xx
04-04-2014 14:58 #263
Here's one for you. We have a friend who works as an IVF scientist. She (never done IVF; fell pregnant both times instantly & complication free pregnancies) tried to tell me in her very authoritarian tone how angry all us IVF patients make her because there is absolutely no difference between an IVF pregnancy & a natural (her word) pregnancy & we expect special treatment. The problem with us (according to her) is, that us IVF mums are given too much support throughout the IVF process, so that when we get pregnant we feel anxious.
Our anxiety has absolutely nothing to do with the gut wrenching years of infertility & loss we've suffered. It has nothing to do with the fact that this baby growing inside us holds all our hopes & dreams to become parents. It has nothing to do with the fact that we've literally gambled 10s of thousands of dollars on this chance... Nup; any anxiety you feel in your pregnancy is just the same as a non-IVF pregnancy. The anxiety is all in our heads, because we've been molly-coddled by all the nurses & drs during the IVF process.
I would also like to know where all this care & support comes in through the IVF process? Is it when I'm paying for the privilege to learn how to inject myself with hormones? Or is it the call from the IVF nurse to say your $15000 cycle has failed? Or maybe it's the geneticist we pay $400 to see to tell us our kids could have CF?
I felt so angry after this interaction, I could barely talk. I just got out of there, burst into tears & said to my DH, please tell me we never have to see her again. IMO, working in the IVF field she should know better. Just glad she doesn't work at my clinic & won't be handling my babies.
04-04-2014 15:21 #264
You really do think she would know better ertgirl.
People don't stop saying stupid things once you've had an IVF baby either. I had a number of people say to me "you never know, now that you've had one you'll get pregnant naturally next time". Except that I do know. I know IVF is the only way I'm going to have a baby. We've had all the tests and know all the results and its quite clear. I realise that this has happened for some people but its not going to be us.
05-04-2014 02:37 #265
Lovabug - hey Hun, fancy seeing you here. Bloody MILs thank goodness my DH is now estranged from his. Even though they still manage to make truly wonderful comments about our 'designer' baby!
Ertgirl - I think your scientific friend should perhaps stick to blood analysis. Clearly a very ignorant individual. Those of us who have been remarkably damaged by the repeated failures, heart wrenching miscarriages and who question their bodies, beat themselves up after failed upon failed cycle and are ever consumed with fear that we may never have the wonderful privilege of a healthy and safe pregnancy...yeah we are definitely high maintenance WTF!!!
Grebecci - the fact that he was in his 50s doing work experience!!! Should I say anymore
Gold Coast Mumma - As a woman who had to resort to going to Sth Africa for an ED, having been on a waiting list here for 3.5 years, I want to express my sincere gratitude to beautiful women like you who so selflessly allow women such as me to experience the very deepest love that life can offer. Xxx
05-04-2014 07:48 #266
I have another doozy to add.. Someone ignorantly going on about why the government shouldn't subsidize Ivf cause it's not other taxpayers faults that people wait too long to have a baby ie 45..., I was outraged and might I add only 27 at the time!
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05-04-2014 13:08 #267
I'm stoked this thread is still going ertgirl
My dd gets croup a lot ad people like to tell me it's cause she's Ivf. Ah, no. I also get all the time how someone's ex boyfriends sisters husbands wife went through Ivf then fell pregnant naturally. That's great for them but no sperm is still no sperm.
05-04-2014 18:19 #268
Yep. I had a friend who told me that I needed to lose more weight then I would fall pregnant naturally. I kinda enjoyed telling her that our problem is that my husband has zero sperm to get into my vagina ;-/
05-04-2014 22:11 #269
Such crap though... We had IVF with first, DH's count was extremely low, he was probably the healthiest he's been at that point, January we fell pregnant naturally, this time round he is so much unhealthier, who knows how it happened only that it's our little natural miracle! Now we have everyone telling us that it always happens like that, as in 2nd is always natural after IVF, I always correct them & we are just lucky, there are plenty out there that it doesn't happen like that for...
06-04-2014 19:00 #270
We had just told me family at the beginning of our 3rd cycle last yr (my mother is a blabber mouth and I can 't stand brothers gf, now wife) about doing ivf. On the day we picked up the meds they had a BBQ, so we schlepped from one side of town to the other and back to get to their place (the clinic is near their house, but I didn't want to take all the meds there and have them sit in the car for hours). Well said, gf was drunk when we got there at 1pm (trash!) and started asking us ivf questions in front of her mother, which annoyed me as it was obvious she had told her mother! But the doozy was, her neighbour came over and within 5 mins she told the neighbour in front of us that we were doing ivf and how exciting it was! I wanted to punch her! DH had to call my brother the next day and reiterate we don 't talk about it much and def not to people we have just met!
Fast forward to cycle 4. I didn't want to tell them that we were cycling again, but when gf threw a tanty when I said I couldn't go to her hens I had to telly them why. A week before their wedding my brother calls me asking if I want them to say anything during the speeches about us doing ivf? I mean are you absolutely serious?? Our friends from nz and family were going to be there and we hadn't told any of them about it, we def didn't want it announced at the wedding!
When we rocked up to the venue the day before the wedding, the bride was drunk (again, and all weekend!) she came up to me, rubbed my belly and asked if I was alright with a smile!!!! I spent the whole weekend paranoid she was going to tell people we were in our tww! All of our friends noticed I wasn't drinking, luckily I could say that I wasn't drinking cos I didn't want to have a few and tell my brother and his 'wife' what I really thought of her. As it was we were all trying to get him to back out of it before the ceremony, so they believed me!
Needless to say, they haven't been told about this cycle.
I've found generally, people just can't get their head around all the tests, injections, scans etc, try as they might. I have one lady at work, one family friend and the ladies of bubhub to get me through.
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