I thought it might be a bit of fun and a bit of a vent session to share the sayings that you find most annoying when you tell someone you are going through IVF.
My top 3 are:
3 - "You just need to stress less about it, and then it will happen." I don't stress that bad until people start telling me to stop stressing. If stress was the only problem I would spend 10K on a holiday not on drugs and needles and egg collections.
2 - "Are you sure?" Once again mostly said when just beginning the IVF journey or when you have just discovered a cycle hasn't worked. Yes! of course I'm Sure!!! I know what a period looks like!
and my number 1 most annoying saying.....
1 - " Well you never know, I have a friend (or friend of a friend or aunt, sister, workmate, doctor.....) who went through IVF for years to have their babies and then when they were finally done they fell pregnant naturally." This does not make me feel better!
Anyway, please share your favourite (or least favourite) "helpful" sayings
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20-05-2012 14:22 #1
Most annoying things people say when you tell them you are going through IVF.
20-05-2012 14:35 #2
Meshell, you are so right about the multiples thing. We have just finally gotten our BFP on our 5th cycle and people keep saying, "maybe your having twins, they run in the family you know" There are 2 problems with that. 1. They only implanted one embryo therefore so if it was twins it would have to be identical twins which aren't hereditary anyway. 2. Twins run in DH's side of the family, sometimes it's impossible to explain to people that they need to run in the female's side of the family for them to be inherited, twins in DH's family cannot cause my ovaries to release 2 eggs.
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20-05-2012 14:36 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Ohhh your number 1 one! Drives me crazy!
Maybe all you need is a break from the treatment? (No, if I stop treatment then I stop ovulating...)
It'll happen when it's meant to happen.
Ooh how exciting! (no... Not exciting...crappy...)
Try not to think about it. (kinda hard with needles, drugs, scans, etc.)
Embarrassed silence followed by change of subject. This one is the worst.
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20-05-2012 14:40 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Great thread idea! Everyone gives unsolicted advice! Love your top three Grebbeci, how many times have I heard those comments over the last 3 + years? Funniest I ever experienced (that I can remember at the moment) is someone giving me an ad from a magazine for an ovulation predictor kit! WHAT THE...??? Got that one covered I think!!! I just ended keeping everything quiet about our baby making journey, I found it so much easier that way. Good intentions still hurt from time to time.
20-05-2012 14:52 #5
'Isn't it expensive?' Well, yes IVF does cost a bit more than conceiving naturally, but I'd rather have no money and a beautiful baby than a bank full of savings and an empty house! I feel like people are putting on their McJudgy pants because DH and I have only just got ourselves back to a good financial position after living overseas, plus I've gone back to study. It's none of your business people!
Adoption - yes I've had that too, but not much thankfully!
People who know you're doing IVF, yet feel it's ok to whinge to you about their pregnancy/kids/other pregnant people. Insensitive much? For example the friend who took me out to coffee just to b!tch about her SIL who finally conceived after trying for 12 months, but unfortunately it meant she couldn't be my friends' MOH because of the baby's due date. This friend knows I'm doing IVF! She didn't get pregnant to spite you! Nor was it selfish! Arghmongers.
We have to travel to the capital for treatment. DH's parents and a lot of our friends live there too so any trip down south is often met with 'Was it for IVF?' questions. So much for trying to keep our cycle under wraps!
20-05-2012 14:56 #6
Ooh and my favourite response:
Doctor friend: When we were learning about reproductive issues we learned about a case where a successful banker and his wife weren't getting pregnant. Turned out he was withdrawing before climax and depositing all over her stomach because he thought since that's where pregnancy shows then that's where he had to put it.
Me: [Horrified expression] ...No, no we do that bit right.
Doctor friend: Cool. Just checking.
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20-05-2012 14:58 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I have only one and it's a doozy,
Don't get your hopes up.....
Was told this whilst actually going through the cycle. I'm sure she meant well.
Great idea for a thread!!
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20-05-2012 15:09 #8
Elly_star, I laughed so much at your post! Unbelievable!
20-05-2012 15:11 #9
My best so far is.... Everyone does IVF these days! WTF, maybe so but doesn't make the process easier
Number two.... After the first one well then you can just try naturally! Yeah we would if my DH's sperm wasn't frozen! Kind of difficult to unfreeze in the kitchen....
20-05-2012 15:26 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
I'm going to love this thread!
I've had some doozies:
1. I really hope you're being realistic about the possibility of it not working.
2. WOW, it's just such a BIG, STRESSFUL thing.... i mean, it's going to be SO stressful! (no, really? I had no idea.)
3. When i tell a particular friend about how i'm feeling on the hormones, etc, she keeps saying things like "oh yes, that's exactly how I was feeling when i first fell pregnant"... WOW, we're, like, twins! Oh, except I'M NOT PREGNANT.
4. "Oh no really? I only have to look at my husband/wife and i'm pregnant" or "we weren't even trying!" (This has been the response AFTER i'd spoken about IVF - the mind boggles at the insensitivity!)
5. Arriving at a friends house, and one of her friends is there - as I sit down, she says "Oh, I haven't told Jane about your news!!!" (with an expectant look)... hmmm, i wasn't going to tell Jane my news, but now you've put me in this extremely awkward position, i guess i'll tell her something.
This was from our first round of IVF. Lesson learned - we're not telling ANYONE about our subsequent rounds.
Last edited by KandP; 20-05-2012 at 16:39.
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