When I say respect for tradition, it's not about what our ancestors did, it's about my parents, his parents, our families and our culture. There are parts of old tradition I like, like weddings, walking down an aisle, being given away, and parents and children having a common family name, that's me and how I was brought up and I respect that.
I don't feel like property by doing any of those things and how you perceive women's roles in the past is irrelevant to how I view tradition today.
To the pp, yes it's just a name, a very common family name that even has its own symbol from medieval times, why not mine instead of his then? Because we're traditionalists and it would have been disrespectful to his parents and family.
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20-05-2012 10:24 #101Guest Guest
20-05-2012 10:55 #102
To those that have kept their names, but their DH hasn't changed theirs.
Do you have a collective name you're referenced as? We're known as the '*****s' in most of our circles.
20-05-2012 10:57 #103
20-05-2012 10:58 #104Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Also accidental incest would be pretty rare if all children had Dad's name because if you found someone with your last name you might look into it.
I like carrying on a family name. My husbands family name will die out if we dont have a son because his sisters boys have their dads name. I guess I jsut dont understand why people would want to keep a man from having kids to carry the name on. I love history, love looking up family history and its pretty hard to keep the line going if you dont stick with the name carrying. I just think it is offensive and rude if a man wants his kids to carry his name to tell him tough poo but thats just me I guess
20-05-2012 11:02 #105
Regarding the reasons....women didn't work because they often weren't allowed to. They didn't vote either or have the right to own property. Women were chattels without rights.
It's called coverture and it's not that difficult to understand.
Last edited by Witwicky; 20-05-2012 at 11:05.
20-05-2012 11:05 #106
Women didn't work because it was near impossible unless they had the means to hire someone to do everything they needed to do in the day.
My grandmother says the washing machine was the greatest gift to feminism after the vote.
20-05-2012 11:05 #107-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I took my husbands last name when we married because i believe that is the way it goes. I love love love my maiden name and would love to have kept it but to me taking my husbands name is showing how much he means to me. i know i might get slammed for that but it is just what i believe.
Now my married name is me i can't see myself as my old name anymore. we have nothing to do with Dh's family and as much as i don't like having the same name as them i don't think about it like that. the way i see it i have hubbies last name not theirs
20-05-2012 11:16 #108
20-05-2012 11:26 #109
I took my Husbands last name, and would of even if it sounded silly with my first name (thankfully it sounds fine, but my initials are now AH which makes me giggle when I'm writing my initials on everything for work). I tend to be traditional though and was proud to be a Mrs.
My husbands family name is also dying out somewhat and his father is very eager for us to have a son to keep it going for another generation (and hopefully more ). He was pretty upset about it all when we were having trouble conceiving and used to mention it a lot, which really didn't help . We don't know the sex of our Baby yet. Hubby wants a surprise but even if we have nothing but daughters I'm glad to know they may decide to keep their maiden names and keep the name alive if they wish to . Its lovely that they have that choice
20-05-2012 11:28 #110Guest Guest
Something can have a history but we change it's meaning in modern times, it doesn't make women weaker or less respected by their families.
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