When I married I took my husbands name which I dislike we had two children and of course they had the same name. Fast forward we had been separated since 2004 and divorced 2008/9 I kept his surname as its my children's they hate it as well (they are 10 and 11) and on more than one occasion they have asked to change it to my maiden name as they are very close to my father (whereas their own father has avoided them like the plague but it's probably for the best as he is on drugs and it was a dv relationship) I have of course wanted to go back to my maiden name but I feel for the kids and I know for a fact as soon as they are old enough they will change it them self! I myself also don't want to keep changing my name as I've met someone and it might be serious however if we marry I'd have to take his name arrrgh!
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20-05-2012 07:10 #91Senior Member
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- South coast NSW
20-05-2012 07:33 #92
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20-05-2012 08:05 #93
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20-05-2012 08:12 #94
I'd take on my partner's surname if it was unbelievably freaking awesome, like Wolfsblood or Destructo. How could I not?
His surname isn't that awesome, sadly, and I like my surname better than his so I'm keeping mine.
DD has my partner's surname with mine as one of her middle names. I would have liked her to have mine but he's the stay-at-home parent who takes her to all of her appointments so we figured it would make things easier. Plus the given name we picked goes better with his surname than mine. Next baby, though, will be a WombatQueen!
20-05-2012 08:14 #95Guest Guest
I think the roots of taking on the males surname has alot more to do with than just 'property' It wasn't that simple.
And regardless of that, alot of people still see a surname as a family name. When you get married your primary family is no longer your parents and siblings, it's your children and husband. So when you give your children their fathers name by following tradition, it's only natural to also have the same family name. To me, that's the purpose of a surname and probably why alot of women choose to change it no matter what it sounds like. Not everyone feels defined by their surname or feels like property by changing it so I don't see why it becomes such a big deal.
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20-05-2012 08:25 #96
The thing I don't get is that many women in this thread have said that the surname isn't a big deal. If that's the case why don't more men take on their wife's surname?
20-05-2012 08:57 #97
The issue is that this patriarchal tradition remains - if your points ring true, males would change their name as well, but this doesn't happen a great deal. Majority of women give up their name and many are pressured to do so even if they don't want to.
I also don't agree with women having specific titles to indicate whether they are married or not, but that's for another thread.
20-05-2012 09:00 #98
Personally I wouldn't have a different name to my kids and I wouldn't get married and change my last name either. I think a lot of other women feel this way as well.
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20-05-2012 09:19 #99
I'm going to take DPs surname purely for comsetic reasons.
A) I love it. It's so much nicer than mine
B) my last name was changed when I was 11, and I only wanted to d it to have the same last name as my brothers. When we have kids they'll have Ander.sson and I'll want the same last name as them
C) my favourite girls name sounds terrible with my surname by lovely with DPs.
20-05-2012 09:24 #100
I'm not changing it partly because of feminist reasons already listed in this thread, but also because of my career. I've been published under my maiden name and it's a total pain in the *** to go on to then publish under a different name. In fact, nearly all the female colleagues I know who are married have not changed their maiden names, and some of them are in their 40's and 50's. It's become such a norm to me to NOT change your name that I was sort of stunned when a friend did recently. I totally thought it was dying out!
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