And congrats!! Hope everything is good for you xxxx
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18-05-2012 18:41 #11wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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18-05-2012 18:41 #12
Your mum sounds like she is finding it really hard to deal with the death of noah.
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18-05-2012 18:48 #13
Congratulations on your pregnancy. They're going to find out sooner or later but I wouldn't tell them until you're past 12 weeks.
18-05-2012 19:15 #14
I think you are being a bit selfish, sorry. Think of it from your mum's point of view- she's seen both her son and daughter go through so much heartache she probably just doesn't want anymore. She is probably also worried sick about your current pregnancy and finds it hard to get excited for you. Don't forget everyone grieves differently.
While it's your news you really also need to be mindful of other's feelings.
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18-05-2012 19:26 #15Senior Member
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- Sep 2008
I don't think you're being selfish at all.
While it is something terrible that your SIL went through you have also had two pregnancies lost, why shouldn't you be happy for this one?
I'd probably wait until 12 weeks but purely to see if it is infact a viable pregnancy this time, not because it's something you should have to hide.
ETA I think that you should announce to your brother and SIL before the rest of the family and acknowledge how they may be feeling about it and just tell them you know it's a sensitive issue which is why you wanted to tell them first.
Last edited by brooke88(mum2b09); 18-05-2012 at 19:29.
18-05-2012 19:59 #16
I agree, You're not being the slightest bit selfish! What, does she expect you to terminate or something just to save the feelings of your sibling?
Sorry, but this really digs me because of my own situation.
You should never be sorry for the existence of your child, no matter what your gestation or their age. And anyone that makes you feel that way quick frankly is a jerk.
Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 18-05-2012 at 21:58. Reason: unnecessary
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18-05-2012 20:00 #17
Congrats on your pregnancy! But I too would keep a pregnancy quiet till after 12wks even 20wks is ok. My mother refuses to discuss a pregnancy before 20wks cos "its bad luck" in her mind.
18-05-2012 20:01 #18
Giving birth to a stillborn baby would be one of the most terrible things to ever have to do.
Sorry, but I think your overreacting. What's an extra 4 weeks? Sounds like your mum is just looking out for her son, he is the one that is going to have to be there for your SIL. It's not going to be easy to tell them anytime though so I would do it in private and make sure they don't hear it from someone else.
18-05-2012 20:05 #19
My interpretation of what you wrote is that it sounds like your mum is trying to protect everyone involved. There has been a lot of sadness around for everyone including your mum.
Absolutely you should rejoice being pregnant, but maybe just be mindful and a little empathetic to your bro, SIL and mum.
Wishing you all the best for a wonderful pregnancy!
18-05-2012 20:07 #20Senior Member
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- May 2012
Congrats on your pregnancy. Lots of positive thoughts coming your way.
I am sorry but I don't think it's selfish wanting to share the news with your family but then at the same time it's going to be hard for them to hear.
I would also tell your brother and SIL before the rest of the family so you can tell them on their own and just be very careful to acknowledge the pain they are going through.
I had a miscarriage in October last year and my SIL was about 6 weeks off having her fourth baby. They had not planned to get pregnant and already had three other kids and here I was planning and doing everything by the book and my little one didn't make it. I won't lie, there were times that I got angry at them (on the inside - I didn't actually say anything to them) but at the end of the day they are my family and I knew I was going to love that little baby no matter what so I was still happy for them even though it hurt.
So my opinion is tell your family when you feel comfortable but be sensitive to their feelings at the same time.
Good luck with the pregnancy and hope everything works out with your family.
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