I would invite them, if they were good friends. I would want them there.
I guess it's hard to say really but love story short I would be sad they didn't want to join us but would understand.
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15-05-2012 20:26 #11
15-05-2012 21:28 #12
I wouldn't invite people without kids to my kid's party. It's his party so the adults are just there as chaperones IMO. The only adults I'd invite who don't have little kids are grandparents.
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15-05-2012 21:35 #13
Hi MagicMud! long time, no see/read!!!
I personally think it depends on said couples relationship to the child.
If it was a close relationship (ie aunt/uncle or godparents etc) then yes, I'd probably be upset they didn't come. If it was just a 'friend of the parents' relationship, then no I wouldn't.
16-05-2012 06:43 #14
16-05-2012 07:42 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I've been in that position, where close friends were having an awful time of it TTC, and I (and another friend) had just had babies.
The friends who were TTC didn't attend a lot of baby things for close to 2 years, and I did understand. I still invited them each time, but told them I would understand if they didn't attend.
I will be honest and say that at times it was a little hurtful, as I felt that they never saw my DD, and they were very close friends. I felt that it affected our friendship, as DD was 'not welcome' when we saw them.
But I also completely understood why. I think it was more that I was sad about the situation, rather than blaming them in any way. I just missed my friends, and wished we could have shared those times.
20-05-2012 16:22 #16
Thanks everyone. (Hi babycart!)
It's helpful to try and see things from different angles.
Just to add a bit of a back story to my question. The kids party in question is my cousins daughters 2nd birthday. I've seen her kids a total of 3 times.... Including this Friday just gone. She's since asked me to make the birthday cake, and I have another cake order for the day after, so as it turns out, I can't go to the party anyway.
I don't think she's at all upset. She's pretty happy that I've solved the cake problem for her, and I'm technically participating by proxy. That suits me fine. I'm not much for parties these days anyway.
I always try to attend everything for my nephews (who are also my god kids) even though I feel like a complete leper.
I'm sure one day I'll learn how to cope at kids functions. It's just so awkward, painful and upsetting at the moment.
And when I don't attend things, I feel guilty and worry I'm offending someone. Arrrghhh. Stupid emotions! Who needs em?
20-05-2012 16:30 #17
I would (and have) invited them. As long as they are people that mean enough to me that I would want them at my child's birthday regardless.
I think if I was in their situation I would at least like the choice.
20-05-2012 17:38 #18
My ds just had family birthday parties for the first few years, but when he turned 5 I invited his kinder friends and his cousins. We didn't invite my BIL and his girlfriend to the party as we knew they wouldn't be interested as such (although to my knowledge they are not TTCing). The only adults there were the parents of the kids and my dh's mum and my parents (it was at their house).
I wouldn't be offended if one of my cousins didn't come to a party of any kind that I was hosting. If they said they couldn't come I wouldn't ask for a reason and nor would I expect one. It's no big deal in my book (and we have extended family gatherings quite often).
20-05-2012 17:55 #19
I think you should just invite whoever you want to invite to a party, the people who are close to you. People might not attend for all different reasons, i wouldn't just think it was because they were childless.
My partner and I are a childless couple doing ivf. I always go to my friends kids parties, i bake cupcakes, sew capes, stuff lolly bags and coordinate baby showers. Most of my friends and my partners friends have kids have clothes made by me. Not all childless people don't want to be around children, and they aren't all jealous of people with kids either.
It is nice to be considerate, but if you invite people and they don't come, just assume they have their reasons and they aren't being rude. For some people ttc, it can be hard to be at a baby christening or something like that, especially if they have suffered a recent loss. I would only invite people close to you and that you want at your party, children or no children.
20-05-2012 18:35 #20
We used to have quite good friends that couldn't have children and desperately wanted them. I always told them beforehand that if they wanted to come to DD's birthday party, they were welcome to, and just turn up on the day if they had nothing else to do.
This gave them the opportunity to decline easily, since they weren't expected to attend.
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