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  1. #1
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    Default Am I bitter or justified?

    So "fob" has decided that he's father of the year, as he has finally recognised how traumatising it is for DS1 to fly 4 hours to see him (another post entirely). So he is flying here for 4 days.. Urgh. I haven't seen him in about 5 years and just dreading it. He still acts like a 21yr old and is just a tool.
    So he wants to take DS to a night AFL match and then drive home afterward. We live well over an hour away on a massive awful freeway and there is a few exits etc, it's not a straight run.
    So I've refused.
    He doesn't know the roads, traffic etc. I have a fear of freeways, car accidents, trucks that I have actually sort professional help for as I was unable to drive on busy roads for over a year (so even the thought of this makes me anxious...)
    Anywhoooooooo.
    He has lost his license previously and I have no idea what his driving sense is like.
    I barely actually know the guy to be quite frank. We've barely had any positive or regular contact in 7 years.

    So...? Am I justified or is this just a sub conscious bitter act??
    Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 14-05-2012 at 19:59.

  2. #2
    HugsBunny's Avatar
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    I don't know that it's a bitter subconcious act. Can I ask how old your DS is? Can he make the decision himself?

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    faroutbrusselsprout  (14-05-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    I don't know that it's a bitter subconcious act. Can I ask how old your DS is? Can he make the decision himself?
    He's 8 and wants to go. I've explained that I'm not comfortable because it's at night and fob doesn't know the way..

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    Do you have a friend you trust who could drive them?

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    faroutbrusselsprout  (14-05-2012)

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    I wouldnt trust him lol Why did he lose his licence? But yeah not much to say really

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    faroutbrusselsprout  (14-05-2012)

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    To have trust, you need to earn it.

    if he has not earned it - follow your gut.

    Gut feelings are pretty good at deciding these things.

    --- night in fronnt of the TV watching teh footy , loads of popcorn and drinks etc.
    < compromise?

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    delirium  (14-05-2012),faroutbrusselsprout  (14-05-2012),Gandalf  (14-05-2012),~Marigold~  (14-05-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    He's 8 and wants to go. I've explained that I'm not comfortable because it's at night and fob doesn't know the way..
    And did he understand that?

    I have no idea of your situation with FOB but for me, personally I would let my DS go. FOB will probably have a GPS in the car so he'll be able to find his way etc and as much as it sucks, regardless of how much of an a$$ he is or has been in the past, he's making an effort to come to spend time with your son and it'd probably be a nice bonding experience for them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    To have trust, you need to earn it.

    if he has not earned it - follow your gut.

    Gut feelings are pretty good at deciding these things.

    --- night in fronnt of the TV watching teh footy , loads of popcorn and drinks etc.
    < compromise?
    I second this.

    Popcorn, TV, Footy is a perfect compromise.

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    faroutbrusselsprout  (14-05-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    And did he understand that?

    I have no idea of your situation with FOB but for me, personally I would let my DS go. FOB will probably have a GPS in the car so he'll be able to find his way etc and as much as it sucks, regardless of how much of an a$$ he is or has been in the past, he's making an effort to come to spend time with your son and it'd probably be a nice bonding experience for them.
    I second this, sorry.

    I can understand how nerve racking it must be, especially having that anxiety already, but you let him look after your son with you 4 hours away when he usually visits so realistically this is nothing in comparison, I hope that's not offensive.

    I know how hard it was for me when ex took DD away, first trip to QLD when she was only 2 1/2, I was a mess the whole time, but at the end of the day if you trust them at all with your child you have to let them.

    Hopefully this is a positive step in building a relationship with your ex for the sake of your child too. Let them go have fun

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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    To have trust, you need to earn it.

    if he has not earned it - follow your gut.

    Gut feelings are pretty good at deciding these things.

    --- night in fronnt of the TV watching teh footy , loads of popcorn and drinks etc.
    < compromise?
    I 3rd this

    Can you find some thing a bit closer to home they can do together? Like go-carting or some thing

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