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  1. #101
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    That is an utterly outrageous ridiculous comparison that does not deserve a response.

    Again, how do you know I was given a choice? I. was. not. I chose to continue on regardless. You don't know my story.

    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Put this into another context... imagine two people with cancer, both battle it out, and one passes away. Then the other says the words quoted above, let's replace "breastfeeding" with "living". To put these words into the context of breastfeeding makes just as little sense to me.

    Your words imply that that there was choice involved in other people's "defeat". In many cases there isn't a choice, or at best it's a choice akin to "would you like to be eaten by tigers or eaten by lions?".

    Your words also imply that if breastfeeding does not work out in the end for someone, then they did not really consider breastfeeding important.

    But what it really boils down to is that your words imply that all situations are comparable; that because you've breastfeed five children you have insight into another woman's experience, and have the right to judge her outcomes against your own. You don't.

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    That is an utterly outrageous ridiculous comparison that does not deserve a response.

    Again, how do you know I was given a choice? I. was. not. I chose to continue on regardless. You don't know my story.
    I don't pretend to know anything about you, your choices or lack thereof, and I certainly never said anything about you being "given a choice". I acknowledge your breastfeeding journey as your own unique experience; it is one that I cannot and will not comment on, one that I cannot and will not compare to my own.

    All I ask is that you extend the same courtesy to others.

    ETA As for utterly outrageous and ridiculous... the logical merit of a statement is often tested when you replace one word with another. Yes, it is ridiculous! As was your original statement.
    Last edited by lambjam; 15-05-2012 at 14:27.

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  4. #103
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    My response to you, Lambjam, is that your comment is hypocritical. You have done nothing but attack me and I have felt driven to defend myself against those comments. Don't speak to me about courtesy and I would appreciate it if you have nothing more to add to this little debate, at least not directly to me. Thank you.

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    How do you think a cancer sufferer would feel about your "comparison"? Sickened and angry would be my guess. How dare you compare that with what I said...

  6. #105
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    I give up. I've done my bit to defend those who were offended by careless words. The fact that those words were poorly chosen and hurtful is something you can learn from or continue to defend, your choice.

    This will soon die the nasty, bitter death that comes to most of these threads. Time to find a horse carrot thread methinks...

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  8. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    How do you think a cancer sufferer would feel about your "comparison"? Sickened and angry would be my guess. How dare you compare that with what I said...
    i'm sure cancer sufferers would be glad to know that we would not think they were any less 'tenacious' if they weren't able to beat their illness

    I'm very sorry that you struggled with your last breastfeeding journey.
    But maybe its time for you to accept that you have seriously offended a lot of people and back off.
    i still find your insistance that we be respectful of *you* while you turn around and tell mothers they weren't tenacious enough, didn't care enough, etc etc bizarre - sorry. but the 'you didn't try hard enough' routine is getting old.


    I honestly hope the women would struggled with breastfeeding who read this thread (and let me tell you - there are FAR more of them reading this thread, then there are cancer sufferers) don't take your word as what most breastfeeders sound like. and that this doesn't re-open wounds.

    Because working within the industry, i can tell you - that birth and breastfeeding experiences are two of the things that will stick with women forever. Having someone cry on my shoulders 20+ years later because she wasn't able to breastfeed - that needs support right from the start. not condemnation because they 'just didn't want it enough'

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  10. #107
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    I have already apologised for bluntness and insensitivity. I don't plan on doing it more than I already have. I agree about moving on. Let's.

  11. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    I agree about moving on. Let's.

  12. #109
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    DS was born 5 weeks early. He had no sucking reflex, which made latching a huge drama. Plus my milk wasn't coming in (due to stress, plus my hormones not kicking in as I never went into labour) so we had a BF fiasco.....
    There was just no reward for him when he finally did manage to latch on (after being given a dummy), so he gave up and became lazy. The nurses in the SCN gave him formula while I continued to express every 2 hours for the following 8 days. Still no luck.

    They then tried to convince me to use formula and give up on breastfeeding, as they didn't think my milk was ever going to come in. I was even told that I had to prove to them that I had bought a tin of S26 before they would let us go home. This really really pi$$ed me off!
    Anyway, I insisted on going on and giving it a damned good try. The doctor eventually gave me a script for Motilium and finally I had a little bit of milk at day 10. We were allowed to go home that day and 2 days later, my milk came in properly (I think its because I was home and therefore more relaxed) and we finally successfully established breastfeeding.

    Unfortunately, after all that hard work I put into establishing breastfeeding, DS turned out to have bad reflux. He couldn't keep down my thin milk, so at 5 months I gave into peer pressure and started to introduce some Anti reflux formula before a breastfeed. It would mix with my milk and make it more solid in his tummy. He never did power spews again.
    Then at 14 months old, he got very sick and spent a week in hospital. He was that congested that he couldn't breathe and suck at the same time, so he weaned. It was a very very sad day, but there was nothing I could do about it.

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    With breastfeeding I believe in this saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink".

    Sometimes babies simply do not want the breast and they will never latch on. Sometimes babies are physically not mature or well enough to take to the breast.
    Sometimes it's better to go over to formula than letting the pressure and stress take over and ruin your relationships with your partner, family and friends.
    Sometimes it's better to go over to formula than letting it ruin your sanity. Babies can feel when mum is stressed and this will definitely NOT help when you have breastfeeding problems.

    Most women really really want to breastfeed, but sometimes it's physically just not possible. Sometimes it's a problem with bubs, or with mum or with both and it is just not going to happen.
    Luckily most women will know when it is not going to happen and will switch over to formula to ensure their bub is still fed.
    You can only persist for so long until bubs is starting to loose too much weight and you have no choice but to switch. Regardless or whether or not you see it as "giving in" or as a "defeat"


    To answer OP's original question: As PP's have said before, there should be no set minimum as this will increase the pressure on a lot of mums and it will increase the feelings of guilt even more if they have to stop before the recommended age

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