Yep. Dh has a daughter in England.
She would be about 8/9 now. Don't talk to her or mum. His choice and mums choice.
He was 16 when she was born.
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12-05-2012 09:33 #21
12-05-2012 11:08 #22
My dp has a son and doesn't seem him.
12-05-2012 11:16 #23
Just because a man has a kid and doesn't see them doesn't always mean he's a bad father or doesn't want to see them. Not everything is so black and white and we don't always know the stories etc behind the reasons.
Instead of judging SOME of these men (yeah some are just complete w@nkers who should have covered it up) we should be helping them TO see their kids.
12-05-2012 13:25 #24
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12-05-2012 17:05 #25Senior Member
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I have a child with no father- hes local to us and we do see him on at least a weekly basis around town but nothing... he has more children who he no longer lives with.
I dont think you could call a man who does not see his child by choice a man- he's an immature little boy! a real man is mature enough to realise and know that a child can benefit from having a father in their life- even through a one night stand they have sex they risk the pregnancy. A fathers right in the abortion debate happens when he has sex- he can abort his mission and not have sex but as we all know the only contraception 100% safe is abstinence- he doesnt want a child at all- he doesnt have sex- simple!
I couldnt be with a man who by choice does not see his child or refuses/makes a fuss over paying CS- they obviously dont have morals or compassion for the child that is half of their DNA.
I also think that for some of the mens new partners- tehy arent told the whole truth- they are probably told the whole she wont let me see the kid/its not mine she was cheating/she only wants my child support bull cr@p that they spin. NO male is going to come right out and say nah couldnt care less about the kid- daddyhood wasnt for me so I dumped it.
12-05-2012 17:29 #26
I have a friend who had no contact with her bio dad for her whole life, even though he lived somewhat locally. One day when she was in her twenties her mum pointed out her father while at the local shops. She approached him and they have now built a really great relationship. Bit of a spin out... Seems he was hesitant to disrupt her life as she had a step dad & brothers and sisters, but when she approached him he couldn't have been happier.
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12-05-2012 18:35 #27Senior Member
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- Apr 2012
12-05-2012 20:43 #28
It's not about what a man wants, but what his child DESERVES.
Some children will be much better not having their tosser fathers around... but even so, those tosser fathers should at least be paying child support. Kids cost no less just because their father is a selfish jerk.
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13-05-2012 20:27 #29
Gotta agree with Sassy Mummy above... the outcome of sex is pretty widely known. And truthfully I think there has to be something a bit off about a man who can quite knowingly ignore his own flesh and blood... not want to know them, not want to be a part of their lives. Maybe a knowing sperm donor is different I guess, they have known since the donation that they wouldn't be involved. But some of these stories how can a man actually live in the same town and not yearn to know the child they see walking around the shops? Bada's story was heartwarming at least.
13-05-2012 20:38 #30
A mans character can be judged on how he treats his children.
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