think the teacher needs to focus on children who really need help.
you are obviously doing your best and in the end, they are children.
children get dirty.
young ones wear nappies (often they need changing!)
try to just ignore her. it's nice that she is caring enough to talk to you but to mention docs is ridiculous.
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09-05-2012 19:56 #31
The Following User Says Thank You to halloweendee For This Useful Post:
09-05-2012 20:54 #32-
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- Sep 2009
Wow. My DS is 27 months and has no interest whatsoever in toilet training.
When I drop him off at daycare, I sometimes notice there's some tiny bits of dried up weetbix stuck on his chin/cheeks. Sometimes I grab a tissue at the desk and give him a quick wipe and other times I don't have time. I have never ever been warned about his face not being spotless.
About the nappy, well, I think she is being a bit overboard with that as well.
At Ds's daycare they change nappies every 2 hours. 9am, 11am, etc.
I usually put a clean nappy on him and dress him after he's had breaky at 8am. If I drop him off before 9am, I wont bother changing him before we leave home as they will change him at 9am anyway.
If I drop him off after 9am, I will change him before we leave home.
I honestly can't check on him every single minute of the day to see if he's done a wee. In a disposable (and even with his MCN's) it is hard to tell if he's done a wee or not. You can't feel it and it is hard to see with the naked eye when the toddler doesn't want to stand still so you can peek inside his nappy
So chances are that sometimes he does go to daycare with a wee in his nappy. Again, I have never ever been told warned about this.
The hair, well DS hardly ever gets his hair brushed or combed. He hates it. His hair is always clean though and because of the double crown, it will always look messy, even when I do comb it through.
I agree with a PP about maybe cutting their hair in a short bob and using a cute hairband to 'prettify" them?
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09-05-2012 21:20 #33
My mum has too many children and is also not big on stain removal. Her solution was to have 'good clothes' we wore out (including to preschool), and she also was a fan of dark clothes to hide stains . Wipes suggested by others are a good idea, mum used to spit on a tissue for last minute clean-ups
09-05-2012 21:27 #34
Coming from a kindy teacher, you are not neglecting your children. Thier lack of toilet training at 25mnths is not a big deal, in fact, it's perfectly normal. Thier change in behaviour is also normal as they have just lost a really important person in thier lives. Keep an eye on them and be there for them and don't forget to be as firm with them as you always were since the consistency will be as comforting to them as anything else.
As for the stained clothes, I recommend to parents at my daycare that they send old play clothes rather than their good clothes as despite the smocks and all, stains at daycare do happen.
Now that they have mentioned something, they will probably be watching closely so I would suggest ensuring a fresh nappy before daycare each day and keep wipes in the car to clean them over before you get them out of thier car seats. Changing thier clothes after breakfast is also a good idea.
If you have the time the night before (and your time would be precious) then try packing thier lunch boxes then, at least with the snacks they will take. You can add refridgerated stuff at the last minute and it may save time in the mornings.
Food and hygiene will be the main two points they look at so if you are on top of those you will be on very solid ground to counter any arguments.
This whole situation sux for you hunny, but hang in there. I think you are doing an amazing job and your children will remember the time you put into them not the cleanliness of the house or thier clothes.
The Following User Says Thank You to Tildy For This Useful Post:
09-05-2012 21:37 #35-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- The mist between Chaos and Peace.
09-05-2012 21:37 #36
If you know your babies are well cared for and loved and its simply material things this lady is concerned about then dont let it worry you.
You have far more important thing to deal with atm than 1 persons opinion of how kids should be raised.
I dont know if it will help but maybe set an alarm on your phone for school days, time it for 10 mins before you would leave add things like
* pack snacks
* add clean set of clothes
I hope that doesnt sound awful its something I do before I leave the house on busy mornings because I'm so busy, stressed and just plain forgetful most of the time...
Also if the kids are at that stage of not wanting to brush hair or wash faces (without tantrums) maybe you can try self help skills, give them the flannel to wash faces and maybe brush hair with lots of praise they'll love doing it and next time the school lady comments you can say thanks for your concern I'm encouraging the girls to learn self help skills atm they are doing a great Job arn't they? I dont see the harm in a little bit of dirt on their face or a messy hair do when they are learning so much and are so proud of them selves.
Lol what can she say to that
At the end of the day Dcp will come see your doing fine and leave you alone unless your hurting your children they wont be interested or will provide you with some support if they think its warrented
Dont let it worry you!
just enjoy your girls xx your doing your best by the sounds of it!
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The Following User Says Thank You to babybumblebee For This Useful Post:
09-05-2012 22:31 #37
I am so very sorry for your loss White Knight
I feel pretty sad about the fact that she mentioned DOCS, rather than encircling you and your girls with a bit of help and a community
I know that when I started working (i leave the house often before my girls are awake), they would often be delivered to daycare with messy faces and crazy bedhair, our daycare ladies never said a thing. They just did their hair, cleaned their faces and supported our family during a huge transition.
There is no shame in asking for their help and support during this time, it's a pity that you have to actually ask for it and its not just automatically offered/done. Please talk to the director about this and just let her know that you are doing the best you can right now and that you need their support.
As for toilet training, my 3.5 year old is having issues with it too. It annoys me that my ability as a mum is judged on where my child does her wees and poos.
you are dealing with so much right now, you are doing a great job if at the end of the day you and the girls are still breathing and loving eachother. just keep holding on and ask for help. there are ppl out there who will want to help you if you need it
09-05-2012 23:26 #38
Super mega hugs
Gosh, you know im guilty of pretty much everything this woman is slamming you for. My toddler is always stained, messy, grubby. He is three next month and is terrified of the toilet so we have stopped trying!
You are going through the unimaginable. And you are still functioning. That in itself is worth high praise. Everyone has given great suggestions, i particularly like the wet ones or baby wipes in the car for a quick once over before taking them in.
Toddler hair is so fine and wild it is hard to maintain it, anyone around littleys knows this, so what the heck she is just nit picking.
Stained clothes for daycare? I wouldnt dare send my kids in anything but old clothes for daycare, everything gets ruined there!
Eugh i could keep rambling, but ill stop. Do not let this cause u any more stress than your already under. Do u have any support or help around you?
The Following User Says Thank You to Zombie_eyes For This Useful Post:
11-05-2012 12:57 #39-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- The mist between Chaos and Peace.
Thank you everyone for making me feel a bit better.
I hate that she made me question my parenting abilities.
Ive actually taken a few days off work & kept the girls home. Partially because I was upset and didn't want to see their teacher.
The director actually just called to ask where the girls were.
I took your advice and mentioned what they're teacher had said to me & how much it upset me & that I'm doing my best & explained why somethings have been pushed aside lately. She was surprised & is going to speak to the teacher.
Thank you for your support.
11-05-2012 13:07 #40
I'm sorry to hear about your Husband.
Good on you for taking a few days off but more so for saying something to the Director. The other person had no right to be so picky and to mention DOCS was just well out of order.
My DS was over 3 when he toilet trained and at 5 I still find myself wiping food off his face in the school playground - yep I've turned into a lick your finger and wipe Mum!! We all have days that can be off irrespective of anything else but given your situation you sound like you are coping extremely well.
I hope you have enjoyed the days with the girls. GBH's to you.
By TwoBlue in forum Dealing with angerReplies: 40Last Post: 24-06-2012, 03:23
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