It's very odd that she would say that to you, I'm really quite perplexed
I am sure you will receive some great suggestions in this thread though, the Hub is good like that
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09-05-2012 16:11 #11
09-05-2012 16:13 #12
I can't really offer any advice as I don't have children that age, and you sound like you are doing fine as it is
Just want to offer you hugs and I am so sorry for your loss.
I do think she was out of line, especially mentioning DOC's.
I would be speaking with the director there and explaining the situation and requesting an apology.
09-05-2012 16:19 #13
I've PM'd you.. but I forgot to add... I've always been sssooooo fussy with tidyness.
I don't do any meals until toys are tidied up... of course they are only little, but they can learn from you... before morning tea say "okay we're tidying up ready for morning tea" and then tidy up.... say the same thing before lunch, before afternoon tea and before dinner.... they'll soon learn than toys must be put away before Mum even considers making food.
(by tidying up... at their age we had one of those big plastic buckets from the cheap shop in a corner of every room.... all toys in that room were put into that bucket... I'd sort them out at some other time I could be bothered)
09-05-2012 16:20 #14Originally Posted by Lumpy Melon
09-05-2012 16:27 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
The kids I used to see at child care around your little ones ages were always filthy. Seriously, they're kids that's what they do! I also sent DS in old/stained and hand-me-down clothes and kept his nice clothes for weekends as they were always painting or in the sandpit or covered in some kind of general mess at kindy.
I used to change DS' nappy at the sign of a wee because I feel it would be uncomfortable, I'd work on that even if only to keep the teachers happy but honestly, I think she went about her discussion in a very bad way. Calling docs when you've just lost your husband? I would've thought an early childhood educator would have more knowledge on dealing with grief.
09-05-2012 16:43 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
I haven't read all the other replies so I'm skipping ahead.
First off massive hugs to you & your kiddies ( I never send hugs on a forum lol )
I assume you work quite a bit also???
I am now the biggest neat freak but my kids at that age & my house were always messy my bad, my girlfriends tease me about it even now.
My kids occasionally go to school & have forgotten lunch, if I'm at work & the school calls me I tell them the kids can wait til after school, geeze I'm suprised docs haven't been called on me.
If you need support & it's available then great but if it's not all you can do is your best and if the kids aren't being abused & you don't abuse substances then the daycare teacher can go jump:-)
09-05-2012 16:59 #17
Firstly, huge huge hugs, and I'm going to be hated by saying this, so please know I'm trying to come from a good place....
I think when you look at those points she gave you individually, things don't look so bad, but if she is seeing all of them everyday, and possibly seeing similar things in yourself, she would rightly be very concerned. Her first concern would be for your children which is what we want from a person we entrust to care for them. It probably took a lot of courage for her to say something (unless she is just a biatch)! It definitely doesn't sound like you are neglecting your children, but the things that have been described could be seen as signs of not coping, and possibly the signs of a downwards spiral. Maybe she was hoping that by bringing it up now, she could prevent things getting worse.
I think you have been given some great advice on how to manage mornings easier, and to present a better appearance. But please also remember, that even at the best of times, it's ok to admit if you are not coping. It doesn't mean you love or care for your children any less. Bringing up children is tough, and your situation makes it even tougher. Make sure you are looking after yourself, and allowing yourself to heal, your children will absorb how you are feeling and begin to heal too with time xx
09-05-2012 17:16 #18-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Ds has arrived at day care with a poopy nappy before (loves to drop them in a clean nappy in the car)
His hair is always messy and his face usually gets breakfast wiped off in the car or once inside.
I dont change a nappy just because he has done one wee.
I would definitely be speaking to the director as what you have described is NOT docs reportable, the *only* thing that might put you there is if you we're doing those things, sending no food / clothes etc.
I would buy a cheap outfit or two and make them daycare ones (Ds wears the less nice clothes as well)
Sent from my MB526 using BubHub
09-05-2012 17:37 #19
If DH passed away I couldn't even get out of bed, so you're doing fantastic in my opinion.
Keep a box of wipes in the car and before you get out, swipe faces and hands quickly. Maybe pay someone to wash your clothing for you, there's plenty of SAHM who do just that, for about $5 a load. If you live in Melbourne I'll do it.
Keep spare clean clothes in the car and if the clothes they're wearing look messy, change them.
Pack kinder food at night and put it in the fridge.
Let them help with doing hair, you do their hair and then they do yours. My five year old will let me do her hair in a few seconds if she has a chance to slap a giant butterfly barrette onto my sloppy side-ponytail.
Once you're back in the car alone brush and re-do your hair as you want it.
09-05-2012 17:38 #20
I didn't know you'd been through this OP! I'm really sorry for your loss. As for the teacher, I suppose it may be natural to worry about people who've gone through something so traumatic, especially when children are involved. Perhaps it's not so much that they're wearing dirty clothes or anything, but if you weren't like that before... maybe that's something that's standing out to her more now (than if they were a bit messy beforehand too)?
She also might be wondering if you're perhaps thinking too much about everyone else and not yourself... and maybe she wants to just assure you that it's fine to seek help for yourself. I mean, she probably doesn't know you ARE seeking help for yourself, and just wants to make sure she mentions it NOW rather than down the track when you're a mess (not that you will be, but hopefully you get what I mean).
Good luck OP.
By TwoBlue in forum Dealing with angerReplies: 40Last Post: 24-06-2012, 03:23
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