I think it's both. A relationship needs to be based on mutual respect, communication etc. But if the connection isn't there, then I think it's harder to do the above over a long period of time.
As I said, I don't believe in the notion of one soul mate. But I do believe you can love someone and not have that special connection. I had my first love at 16, even moved in with him so it was real love, not kiddie crush stuff. I def loved him, but I didn't know until I got with DH that we lacked that special something.
edit to add: I don't believe in cosmic stuff. Just that you only find a couple, maybe one person in your lifetime where there is just 'something' totally special above love.
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10-05-2012 11:07 #31
10-05-2012 11:13 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I don't believe in cosmical stuff either, nor do I even believe in a soul per se. Until I met DP I didn't believe in soulmates (although had a girlfriend in my teens-early 20s who came really close). But now I do. The connection was instant, it's not work, there's nothing difficult about it. I feel at peace when I'm with him. It's more than just mutual respect I feel.
10-05-2012 11:33 #33
10-05-2012 11:41 #34Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
So it seems like when people say they believe in soul mates, they mean 1 of 2 different things.
1) They believe in a rare and special connection that feels like something more than love/ connections they have felt in the past.
2) They believe that they were destined to be with/ know that person, as part of a cosmic/ divine plan, or as a result of past lives.
I believe in the first of those 2, but my understanding of 'soul mates' had been that it meant more like the 2nd.
I do believe in a rare and special connection. But I don't believe it to be mystical. Just awesome.
10-05-2012 11:45 #35has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I do believe that people come into our life for a reason, some teach us a lesson we needed to learn or help us through a particular part of our life, some come into life for a very short time and others for a longer time but they all play an important part in our life. I believe that certain people connect with others on a deeper level, in a way i can't explain well - like you just 'get' each other and feel instantly comfortable and understanding of each other. I believe this connection can be with a lover, a friend, a partner, anyone.
Is this soulmates? I'm not sure but i lean towards yes.
10-05-2012 12:01 #36
I don't believe in a divine plan, otherwise I would like to have a lengthy discussion with the one that devised my plan...
10-05-2012 12:03 #37
I dont think i believe in soul mates?
I dont know what one really is, but if its about true connection. Then my sons are my soul mates. We are linked forever, and i truly get them, i know them better than i know myself. And i love them more than i thought i could ever possibly love.
10-05-2012 12:18 #38
10-05-2012 12:31 #39Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
10-05-2012 12:35 #40
The word mystical sounds a bit silly I wouldn't use that. Not really sure what word for it and to me a soulmate certainly doesn't always have a happy fairytale ending, for me one was a strong connection that ended in a lot of heartache but it was meant to be because there were things I needed to learn. That is/was part of my life plan.
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