I am about to begin an FET cycle, it will be my 5th transfer. As you can see from my signature my first 3 were not successful and my last transfer (fresh) was a chemical pregnancy.
I work in a job that is somewhat physical (though no heavy lifting). Lately I have been feeling really negative working there, not enjoying it at all, feeling stressed etc. I asked my FN and FS if I could try anything different this cycle and, along with a few minor changes in my protocol, they said that some ladies find it beneficial to take time off work for their 2WW. They did stress that this would not be any benefit physically, however emotionally it may be a good option given the way I feel about work right now!
Now, I've thought a fair bit about this over the past couple of days. My FS said he would have no issue with writing me a medical certificate to take 2 weeks off work but I can't help but feel a bit funny about taking 2 weeks of sick leave for this - does it really qualify as sick leave? I am also worried that my boss will start asking questions (my immediate supervisor knows about IVF but the big boss doesn't - he has a big mouth and is quite insensitive so I don't feel comfortable telling him) and that he might start calling the number on the Dr certificate asking for answers as to why I'm having so much time off (in addition to all the sick days I've taken for 2x EPUs and 4xtransfers). Can my employer do this or does he have to take the certificate at face value?
To really throw a spanner in the works my husband is going away for work (overseas) during my 2WW and it would be an option for me to go with him if I took the time off. But...when I start thinking about doing it I feel guilty for taking the time off as sick leave then basically going on a holiday. I pointed this out to FS and his response was "it might be a good thing for you to do that and be distracted and relaxed rather than working a job you're not happy in and feeling down because your DH is away from you".
I think it's more of a moral dilemma for me than anything else and I'm really just after your opinions as to what I should do/what you would do. Any advice appreciated.
Thanks for reading
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08-05-2012 18:08 #1
Taking sick leave for the 2WW - what would you do?
08-05-2012 18:17 #2
It's a tough one for me.
On one hand I will say that if you have the sick leave up your sleeve and you really feel like you need a break right now...I would definately take the time off and most likely go with DH.
Then on the other hand I think that if I took the time off and it was STILL unsuccessful, I would have wasted all of that leave for nothing, and I can't do it every 2WW.
In this case I'm going to say (which may not be helpful to you) that I think you should take the time off work, go with your DH and I hope you get your sticky BFP at the end of your TWW so that you don't have to worry about it anymore
If only it were that easy...
08-05-2012 18:23 #3
Thanks Disney baby
I should add that I do have a ton of sick leave saved up so that's not an issue for me.
I have not taken my 2WWs off for my other transfers and I don't think I'll make a habit of it, it's more just one more thing to try. The fact that it coincides with DH's trip, along with the way I currently feel at my job, is what's really making me consider taking the time off...
08-05-2012 18:44 #4
It is a decision that only you can make but I think if you have the leave then why not try it.... Maybe two weeks of doing nice things for yourself is just what you need! IVF can be so draining on your body and I think sometimes we are so focused on all the tests and waiting that we forget to take care of ourselves.
I asked my DH about the medical certificate as he works in the health dept in this exact area. Your boss must take the certificate for what it is and can only contact a doctor with your permission.
08-05-2012 19:05 #5
I took a week and a half off (just before EPU) because I was feeling so awful and could hardly walk (doc says I didn't have ohss but I beg to differ) I didn't tell work initially but I had to after changing my leave arrangements and I took what sick I had left and then annual. I think the time off helped me to be more relaxed but yes it would be hard to keep taking that much every time.
I think it does in fact classify as sick but I get what people are saying about having a full two weeks off I think if u are really stressed it might help.
Sorry I haven't really helped xo fx for u!
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08-05-2012 19:56 #6
If you can take the time off, do it. In a way you are sick, sick of work and work makes you sick But seriously, you need to be relaxed and it sounds as though you won't be if your at work. At least if by any chance it's a BFN you will know that you have done all that you could.
As far as I know, your boss can ring but they can't give out personal information, that's just wrong, invasion of privacy.
I probably should've taken time off but I couldn't, so the girls I worked with did most of the work and let me be stress free. I didn't even ring my area manager on my 2ww She stresses me out more than anything. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the luck in the world and have my For a BFP. Will be waiting to hear your news
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08-05-2012 21:25 #7Senior Member
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- Jul 2011
You should never feel guilty for wanting to take care of yourself. Loads of people take stress leave and don't have the added stress of trying to start a family. I didn't go through IVF but did go through 13 losses. When I did get pregnant and it looked like it may stick I had a melt down thinking I was going to loose it so one lunch walked out of work. I returned 6 weeks later. My baby and my health were much better off knowing I had done everything I could.
Always remember "work to live not live to work"
A doctor can only tell your boss what you allow them to. Your medical status will always be kept private.
The Following User Says Thank You to natct For This Useful Post:
09-05-2012 01:17 #8
Bella, take the leave!
My situation is similar to yours. My work is fairly physical and def mentally taxing, and we've cycled twice since Dec. First cycle - 1 fresh and 1 fet, both BFN. Second cycle we had a BFP off out freshie but had an early miscarriage. We'd received our cycle summary just over a week before that, and found out that 11 of our embies had stalled and been discarded! All this was playing with my head, but I didn't think of taking time off as I wasn't sick. One day I was driving to work and just started bawling my eyes out, wanting to vomit and totally pessimistic about ivf. A week after that I had 10 days leave, and felt the stress slide away to leave me back in control! I'm seeing our fs today, and can't wait to get back in the swing of things
Sorry this has all been about me! I'm just trying to show how important it is to look after yourself, and with us ivfers that definitely includes staying in the right head space. Everything's falling into place so nicely because you're meant to go with dh. Take the opportunity and run with it!
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09-05-2012 05:58 #9
1. You have the leave entitlement available.
2. Your Dr suggested leave may assist you with the medical treatment he is providing.
3. Mental health is important. You know this TWW is going to be stressful, so better off for everybody (especially you) to take 2 weeks off in prevention now, than 2 months off in crisis later. A stitch in time saves nine.
Take the medical leave. Tell work you will not be contactable during leave. Go away and try to avoid stress.
The Following User Says Thank You to felicita For This Useful Post:
09-05-2012 06:25 #10
Yup i agree, if you have the leave, then take it.
This is such a hard time emotionally, it can be hard to be at work. I was in the same boat as you, i took the day off of transfer and the day after but i've had some spotting so i've taken a few days off this week. My clinic said its def good if you can, to put your feet up and rest. I know what disney is saying, that you cant do it every time, but if you have a chance to go away with your partner and relax, i reckon do it.
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