You are right to worry, and can I just say it's wonderful that you have noticed these behaviours.
I had an eating disorder for years and it started out this way. It's like a slippery slop from that point, so it's great you are on to it now.
She may feel as though she has no control over her life, so her weight is something she can control. She may also have a fear of growing up, which causes her to hate the curves etc that she is developing.
Try not to make a huge issue over the food as that is just a symptom of what's really going on. Encourage her to talk about how she's feeling as the real issue goes deeper than food and weight.
I know it's hard for others to watch someone hurt themselves in that way. You sound like a lovely step mother.
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09-05-2012 11:10 #11
09-05-2012 11:22 #12
Thanks.. Yeah we are trying to talk to her but she does t say anything is wrong... I asked her if she felt better yesterday when She got home and she said she didn't feel bad before so she was ok. she comes to me crying sometimes but tells me she doesn't know why? I just put that down to puberty? Is that right?
My dh and myself have had custody for 5 years this July, along with her 17yo brother and they don't see their bio mum anymore so as much as she is still my dsd, she considers me as mum and I consider her as dd.
If we have pizza or something like that she will eat like crazy but we can't have that every night! Lol... Hopefully I can make something tonight that she will enjoy!
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09-05-2012 12:06 #13
Not sure where you live but lots of Capitol cities have support groups for young ladies with image problems. Maybe talk to her about her bmi and what range it is in, I'm not positive any of this will work but I think professional help will be beneficial but be careful if doesnt just make her hide what she's doing
09-05-2012 12:25 #14
I would be worried.
You need to tread very carefully though I think. If you try to force her to eat or make a battle about it and she does have an eating disorder it's not going to help her. If she has an eating disorder she is doing battle with an internal 'voice' (for want of a better word, not a literal voice), which is telling her horrible things about herself. That voice can make you an enemy very quickly.
Do you have a good GP? If so I would take her there and say you are worried that she has lost a lot of weight and doesn't seem hungry (don't mention dieting or not wanting to eat). It's possible there is a physical problem that could be ruled out first, but a good GP should be able to refer you to an appropriate counsellor if needed. It might even help if you go to the GP by yourself first and tell them your concerns so they are ready when you visit with her.
In the mean time make an effort to praise her about lots of things, but don't mention appearance. Stick to her character and talents. Does that make sense?
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11-05-2012 12:00 #15
Been to the dr. She has very low blood pressure and has the shakes and headaches and says she is nauseas after she eats. She had 2 GRAINS of nutri grain for breakfast today which she voluntarily ate. She had a glucose test which was ok. She had a blood test for vitamin and mineral deficiency etc as well as pancreas testing. She will see a psychiatrist or psychologist depending on test results which one. Thankyou all for your help and concerns!
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11-05-2012 12:17 #16
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