Oh no that sounds pretty bad
You say you trust him, but not her. But sounds as though IF there is a trust issue here - and please talk to him about it, better aired, it could be nothing? - but IF there is, it seems as though he is taking action himself.
But it could be a misunderstanding. So either way MSGing her might feel good momentarily. But it won't help.
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07-05-2012 18:24 #51
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07-05-2012 18:33 #52
Not saying this in malice, but try and remember that your husband is human and will make mistakes. Regardless of how much you trust him.
Head him off. Tell him you know the truth. Lie if need be and tell him that you had a message from her on Facebook. (send yourself a fake one).
But at the end of the day, people can make stupid choices. Don't sit idle and allow it to happen.
07-05-2012 18:42 #53
Im sending hugs...
You must be going crazy over this,
You feel you can trust your partner but it sounds like maybe you cant
Hope u get some answers
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07-05-2012 19:01 #54
Hugs! That must be an awful feeling. I personally would say nothing yet and keep an eye on what he's doing. I would want to know have proof of what was going on before confronting him and asking his side.
Last edited by austmum; 07-05-2012 at 19:04.
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07-05-2012 19:02 #55
Confront Him. About EVERYTHING.
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07-05-2012 19:04 #56
Holy cow, my jaw dropped while I was reading this!!
LOGICALLY, IF he were up to something, wouldn't it be the stupidest thing in the universe to use your computer to look the flights and hotel up?
My DH always says to me that men are uncomplicated and logical.
I know where you're coming from wanting to give her a virtual slap in the face. If it were me, I'd very calmly and quietly ask him about the hotel - it sounds like that's your MAIN concern. THings might get prickly if you straight up accuse him of going there to see her. You'll know in your heart of hearts by his body language and reaction. We'll cross the next bridge when we come to it. Obviously there's a seed of doubt there - address it. You owe it to yourself - and to him (particularly if there's a valid reason for it all).
09-05-2012 11:10 #57
So I got into his FB.....and they are talking dirty to each other through the private messages.
I am so sick to my stomach, I don't know what to do now?
09-05-2012 11:20 #58
oh god thats awful news about the private messages... i think i would save the evidence then sit down and have it out, maybe even organise a counseling appointment so you have an impartial mediator. If need be I would say i needed him to come to an appointment for me. yuck.
09-05-2012 11:31 #59
You said you trust him, not her. Can I just point out that you don't need to trust her? She is nothing to you. It's him who is indulging in this behaviour, sending messages, planning motel stays etc. you need to confront him ASAP. You are under no obligation to put up with this but having it out with her is not beneficial or needed- it's your husband that owes you an explanation, an apology and must work to regain your trust. I hope you get some answers soon.
09-05-2012 11:33 #60
Assuming he hasn't been intimate with her already, you at least now know he had intentions.
Please be gentle with yourself, you're allowed to grieve over this. It's a massive shock to the system.
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