No you are *not*a bad mum, its a frightening thing for a child to do poos on the loo or potty. DD1 refused for a long time, despite us trying every trick in the book. She just wasn't ready. Eventually we compromised, she was fine with weeing on the potty so i told her she could do all her wees on the potty and when it was time to do a poo, she could ask me for a nappy and do it there. She agreed and she then wore knickers all the time, and asked for a nappy when she needed to poo
We carried on like that for more than a year, she just had a fear and she would go rigid with resistance and fright if we tried to make her use the loo.
eventually her little sister started pooing on the potty, and dd1 saw that it wasn't such a big deal, that was just before christmas and we haven't looked back since.
All you can do is provide the opportunity, don't worry about what other kids are doing, just keep trying. I was always afraid to push too hard because I heard horror stories about kids holding it in, getting constipated and then being afraid of the pain as well. So we never pushed too hard, and we got there in the end.
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11-05-2012 14:10 #11
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04-07-2012 16:05 #12
I bought some bright bots training pants today to see if this helps as we are still no closer and DS needs to go to toddler room potty trained! Thanks all so far for your comments and pink pink thanks for saying I am not a bad mum as I feel like one all the time!!! My son is so defiant with everything and a real little mind of his own boy just don't know what to do half the time
04-07-2012 20:10 #13
I did every thing pinkpink did My DD sounds the same as your DS. She is very headstrong, stubborn, determined (all in a good way lol). What has worked fo us it just to break everything down into tiny phases, not just going straight to weeing/pooing on the toilet.
At first DD resisted and half the battle was getting her to just SIT on the toilet. I figured out DD likes to put the toilet paper in the bowl so I bribed her with that to get her to just sit nothing else. When she did I clapped, high fived, danced aound the house and sung like a crazy woman, Anything to get her to laugh and enjoy it and see it as a positive thing. "Oh if I sit mum will run around the house like a looney and I can join in too" and she loved it. Then when she was comfortable with that and she actually wanted to sit, we moved onto "pushing" for a wee and laughing like cazy when she made a noise/fart etc. I just wanted her to push,no presure on doing an actual wee. When she pushed then she got to dance/sing/run/high five/be silly etc. When she was comfortable with pushing we moved onto wanting to try and catch that "cheeky wee" in the toilet. And I made a big deal out of how she was keeping her undes dry (Id say Im very proud of you for keeping your undies dry etc every 30 mins or so) as well as saying remembe to tell mummy when you need to wee (as opposed to do you need to wee etc). Id stay really close by all the time and when she looked like she was about to wee or even if she had started already Id scoop her up quickly and sing the pee pee in the toilet song and make a game out of it to try and catch the cheeky wee. If she got some in there (even by accident) Id clap/yell out/high five/dance/sing etc and she got a sticker (often like 5). Soon she recognised the wee feeling and when she'd say Mum I need to do a wee we'd race each to the toilet. She'd always won but she'd say good work mum we both won, god love her!
We are now 3 wks in and dry o/n I remember feeling like crap too after the first few (5) days and she was still having accidents. Just make it all a game and as fun as you can. I got her to stay on the toilet and push for poos by doing a bum wiggle dance in front of her while everytime she pushed. Got busted a few times doing that by Dh who hasnt let me live it down lol
Keep going, dont give up and dont go backwards. He'll get it. Good luck
04-07-2012 20:38 #14
I know exactly how you feel as I was in your situation 1 yr ago. My ds knew what to do but was defiant and didn't want to. Unfortunately there was no amount of bribing or games or rewards that would help for me so I just gave up for a while and waited till he was out if that little defiant phase. At about 3 1/2 yes old it just clicked for him and we tried again. A lot of probs with no 2s but we finally got there. Sometimes you just have to wait until they are ready and don't worry about the age. All kids are different. It will happen... Good luck
04-07-2012 21:44 #15Senior Member
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- Dec 2010
All I can say is don't fret. He'll do it when he's ready. Our DD is 3 in sept and is only just warming to the idea now. It's taken months of encouragement. But rather than force her, we let her make the decision. She hasn't yet done #2's and will only wit on a potty. I'm happy with that and it's a start. Your DS will do it when he's ready. You want it to be a positive experience.
I used to give dd the option every day of wearing a nappy or undies. Rules were, if she wore undies, she had to use the potty. Eventually she began to hate wetting her knickers and that's what I guess helped her succumb to the potty! Try not to push it. It'll happen!
By nellly in forum Constipation, Toilet TrainingReplies: 2Last Post: 25-07-2012, 23:56
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By Moxy in forum Constipation, Toilet TrainingReplies: 2Last Post: 19-03-2012, 15:46
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