Just an additional thought - I think in our case, leaving DD with DH early on meant that I learnt to take a step back and let go a bit. Because I spent so much time with DD I found it quite hard to let DH do things his way (within reason - as long as DD's cues were followed and needs met) rather than looking over his shoulder all the time telling him how it *should* be done.
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02-05-2012 10:26 #11
02-05-2012 10:31 #12
Straight away. I told him that the second the baby was out that he was to follow him/her and not leave baby alone. Forget about me lol I'll be fine. So with our first I passed out in the shower after giving birth and so had a few people with me trying to get me good again and he was with our DD. He took her for the first five hours of her life while I slept - so exhausted.
When we were home not much as I BF and didn't really go anywhere on my own. When they were older he watched them if I got my hair cut or slept or went to a friends place.
02-05-2012 10:53 #13
Probably not until he was about 9-10 months old but not because I didnt want to... because HE didnt want to and wasnt interested.
He did bath DS first in hospital but never again after that. Never changed a nappy. Only fed him if i asked/nagged. If i needed to do something with out baby, my first call was my mum, then his mum.
When he did look after him at 9-10months it was only because i had to work, daycare mum was on holidays, my mum worked, and his mum was away... otherwise he wouldnt have.
I think i have left DS with my 18 year old brother at about 6 months (he begged me to leave him actually) and my dad also around that age.
02-05-2012 11:07 #14
With DD she was 8ish weeks for about an hour while I got my hair cut/colored I don't leave them unless I have too and it's a bit hard to hold a baby while getting your hair done! I've ducked down the road to do some shopping a few times but it's only ever for an hour-hour and a half at most. I won't leave her for longer than that until she is eating whole meals plus she is really a breeze so I don't feel the need to leave her for longer than that
02-05-2012 11:09 #15
We did the same as most people. I left DS for short periods from very early on. However the first time I left for any significant time (the whole weekend) was when DS was 17 months.
02-05-2012 11:11 #16
From the beginning, whilst I showered in hospital etc. Once home the first time he was at about 10 days old when he dropped my Dad at the airport. Then probably 1-2 a week whilst I ducked to the shops, got my hair done, or whatever it was.
DH has always done bathtime.. like a pp said DH went away for work when DS was about 3 months old and I was left to bath the baby! DS almost went a night without a bath I was that scared lol!
02-05-2012 11:14 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Never, he was incapable and never helped which is why he is my ex. My now DF used to pick them up from my Mums while I was at work and put them to bed for me if I was staying at his house.
I think we'd been together for about 4 or 5 months.
02-05-2012 11:17 #18
About 30 mins after he was born! I had an emergency c-section so DP had him while I was in recovery. Then after that, at about 1 week old we all went to a shopping centre and I went dress shopping while DP wandered around with DS, so if he needed a feed I was only a phone call away. When he was about 4 weeks, my mum used to come and take him out for walks so DP and i could nap, or go for a coffee together. Again, she was only ever a few minutes away so it was fine. First full day was when i went back to work when he was 12 months, and first weekend away soon after that.
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02-05-2012 11:22 #19
Right from the start. He knew as much about being a parent as I did, and loved them just the same.
02-05-2012 11:22 #20
I think some people need to realize that just because a mum may choose not to leave the baby with the partner for 5/6/7 months does not mean the father is any less capable then a father who gets left alone with the baby instantly. My DH is the most capable and amazing father but I still did not leave him alone with DD till 6 months. They had plenty of alone time while I slept, showered, read a book etc but I was still in the house. And definitely not hovering over his shoulder! It was my own issues stopping me from going out and the fact I need DH to drive me places! The first night home I said to him 'I'm going to bed only wake me for her feedings' as I trusted him completely but didn't need to leave the house to prove that.
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