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  1. #21
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    I am worried that you think your hubby has to 'let you' get the test. With a test (the nuchal scan and blood tests) theres no risk to
    Bub so it's your body, your choice. I believe though when it comes time to
    Decide whether or not to end a pregnancy a father should have an equal say.

    I got the tests because I'd like to
    Be prepared if something was wrong. I hate being surprised.

    Good luck

  2. #22
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    Your body your baby your choice.

    As many pp's have said, it doesnt just test for DS.

    Im a creature that needs to be prepared. Like your dh i wouldnt terminate for DS, but id like to get my hands on every bit of info i could beforehand.

  3. #23
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    This is not trying to influence you in any way but I have a great uncle who is 75 with downs and that is really old for them, they usually have heart problems but he seems to be ok.

    He chucks his clothes out all the time and tries to marry me. Lol cute

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

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  5. #24
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    Hi there, I am coming up to the test time and I think Its more the mothers choice to get the test and I would encourage you if you feel strongly then get the blood work done behind his back even if its to set your mind at ease
    good luck
    EDD 4-12-2012

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    My GP talked me into having the test even though I was 100% sure that I wouldn't terminate based on the results.

    She told me that having the test isn't just so you can terminate the pregnancy if it's positive as a lot of people think, but it's also so you can prepare and educate yourself before your baby is born for the reality of raising a DS child. I imagine it would be more of a shock birthing a baby you didn't know had DS as opposed to being prepared for giving birth to a baby with DS. It gives you time to come to terms with it.
    I actually think this is an excellent point. Having the test doesn't mean you have to or want to terminate (and I know you say you would but ykwim). Both my DH and myself have refused the test with both our kids for the same reason as your DH. We would never terminate no matter what.

    Honestly it's a really hard one. I can see your DH's POV but at this same time, you are carrying this baby, and honestly I think based on that you get final say. I suspect he doesn't want the test bc he knows you'll want to abort if the child has DS so it's kind of his way of avoiding it.

  7. #26
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    If you want to get it done, I would get it done. I would tell him though. You have every right to do it if it is something you are worried about

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  9. #27
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    There's no way I'd go behind DHs back. What happens if it then comes back positive for downs...do you terminate behind his back too? That would break up a marriage!
    I also don't see how having the testing would put your mind at ease either. I find that they usually make people stress out and can often have false readings for some conditions. Just a different opinion for the mix...

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  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummyJ View Post
    There's no way I'd go behind DHs back. What happens if it then comes back positive for downs...do you terminate behind his back too? That would break up a marriage!
    I also don't see how having the testing would put your mind at ease either. I find that they usually make people stress out and can often have false readings for some conditions. Just a different opinion for the mix...
    I agree I wouldn't go behind my husbands back either. But it isn't as clear cut as the above. What if she doesn't have the scan and the baby does in fact have DS (although the chances are low). What affect would that have on the marriage, and the resentment it would cause towards hubby.

    I think you need to sit down with DH and talk him through the scan. Although they put a lot of focus on the DS testing, it is also for so much more. They check that the baby is flourishing, length and size of bub, they check it's bowel, heart, even the blood flow through organs. They check the placenta and where it is lying. The blood supply from it. The kidneys...the list goes on and on. I think your focus on DS alone has skewed your thinking and DHs thinking when it comes to this test.

    There are lots of things that they test for that could mean that you will need monitoring during your pregnancy, or some that mean that the baby will need surgery as soon as its born, or need specialists on standby during the birth. I would suggest you take the emphasis off DS and focus on all the benefits this scan could give you and your baby in the unlikely chance that something needs attention.

    I would do some googling and make a list for DH of all the other things that they look at, and explain that early intervention and monitoring can benefit bub if there was to be something there. Take DS out of the equation.

    Good luck!

  12. #29
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    I'd still do the testing. I'd just tell DH I'm going to get it done period.

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  14. #30
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    My test came back high risk and FOB refused to let me do the amino testing. A positive result would have swayed me towards termination and he was the opposite.

    Needless to say, I was the one incubating the baby, so I had the amnio done (he came along) and it was fine, all negative.

    There is no middle ground sometimes and you need to do what's best for you.


 

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