One midwife brought me a hot Milo in the middle of the night, and took bubs who wouldn't settle/feed due to mucus build up from c-section, out of the room for a few hours so I could sleep. I'm pretty sure she was an angel..
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01-05-2012 00:03 #11
01-05-2012 00:18 #12
My main midwife was absolutely lovely. I was only 20 when I had DS but she treated me like any other expectant mum, not some young, dumb girl. I had a short labour from first contraction (at hospital) till DS arrival (3.5hrs in total) but I was hot, cold, hot, cold.... "Im hot, turn that fan on..................its freezing can we turn that fan off? .......its hooottttttttttttttt, why is the fan off??" ...she kept her cool and did everything I wanted to try (on the labour bed, birthing stool, in the shower) without getting huffy at all. She kept the same, calming tone of voice and made me feel like it was 100% my show and she was just there to support me any way I needed, as apposed to her making out like she knew it all IYKWIM.
01-05-2012 03:14 #13
I arrived at hospital after being in labour for 12 hours at home. Went straight to the birthing room. It was very overwhelming and I was in pain, and so I was crying a bit (just ha little tears). Midwife came into the room with a jug of water etc and this was the conversation..
Her: are you sick?
Her: well why are you crying for?
I just looked at DF with a WTF expression. No hi how are you, no introduction, nothing!! Luckily that was the only time o saw that midwife as it was then a shift change at he hospital.
Everyone one else I dealt with was excellent, except for one other lady after I had DD, and was back in the normal rooms. she didn't do anything wrong, but she just wasn't as friendly or compassionate as the others. I saw about 8 or so midwives in total from arriving at the hospital to leaving the hospital after a 2 night stay.
01-05-2012 05:53 #14
I think a good midwife, even if they think something is normal and you're being a sook, should give the IMPRESSION of taking it seriously.
I get that some women are overly dramatic. I get that some women panic. But being told that your c-section scar SHOULD be red, hot and swollen a week later and that I didn't need a doctor to check it was horrible .
Best midwife I ever had was a man. I don't know whether it was the whole "I've never had a baby but I've seen it enough to feel sympathy and be grateful that I don't have to!" or whether he was just a really good, empathic person.
I had a female midwife say to me "I've had babies, and delivered hundreds of them. I know what's normal". Um, excuse me? NO YOU DON'T! You're not intimately aware of my body and it's goings on, so don't presume to tell me that you know exactly what's going on in my body! You might have a fair idea, but you can't possible know exactly.
Sorry, rant over. I just had mostly horrible midwives .
01-05-2012 06:55 #15
Someone who will support and empathise whithout pretending to understand exactly what you are going through. Some midwives seem to think everyone's experiences are the same.
01-05-2012 07:17 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
I think a good midwife needs to be competent, and have good communication skills. The rest is sort of subjective, we all like different things in people and what works for one wwoman may not work for another. Before I had kids I went as support for a friend having her first and her midwife was very bossy and 'coached' s lot- I remember thinking I'll die if I have to have her when I have a baby- and if course I did! My friend loved her, and said its exactly what she needed, when I had her all I wanted was for her to shut up and f off! She was so bossy!
Sone ewomen really need a mothering nurturing type, others need more if a sisterly bond with her midwife, some want someone bossy who can tell them to stop, regathering and get on with the job! Personally I want someone who will support my wish for a natural birth and encourage me through the hard bits rather than getting drugs, other women don't want that- they feel that they should be supported to have drugs.
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01-05-2012 07:19 #17
One who remembers you are a person, too. I found a lot of them, while fine, seemed to forget that i was there too and were more concerned about DS. He had lost too much weight after birth and they were all so keen to fatten him up they'd all forgotten I was struggling too. I was in hospital 3 nights and by the third night I was so lonely and tired and homesick, then at about 8pm this angel appeared and said- ok, this is what we're doing. I will come back in 2 hours and you will feed him for 30 mins. Then I will feed him from a syringe while you try to express a bit more. Then you will go to sleep and i will change his nappy and put him back to sleep. And she came every 2 hours and did exactly that. She was the first one to go above and beyond when i really needed someone.
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01-05-2012 07:22 #18
Midwife means to be 'with woman'- so if you always keep this in the forefront of your mind you will do great. Remember why you're there, who you're there for and what you want all the women whose births you attend to remember and how they need to feel. Midwives have the very real potential to change someone's life, we have a DUTY to make sure these women feel worthy, loved and supported. It is their day and their birth.
I'm doing my first year of BMid and I LOVEEEEEE it- a huge workload but it's just amazing!
Last edited by Roopee; 01-05-2012 at 07:25.
01-05-2012 07:36 #19
I had horrible midwives!
The worst one I had kept shouting at me! I arrived at hospital in the last stages of transition, with dd just about crowning, the midwife shouted at me when I screamed that I needed help, just shoved gas in my face, which I said I didn't want, she then told me that I obviously didn't need to be in hospital yet and that I'd have to go home. I don't know why she was like that to me. When I started pushing 30 seconds later she shouted at me again, told me to stop screaming in her ear deafening her and do it properly. I could go on, but she was a complete b!tch, wish I made a complaint.
The midwives on ward were just as bad. One shouted at me for breaking hospital policy and not feeding my baby for over 6 hours. With no help or support, I had no idea I was supposed to wake my baby to feed her. It was the stupid midwifes fault, she was obviously so incompetent that she'd forgotten about me, she hadn't even come into the room to do obs. I could have bled out following my pph in that time or anything.
I also hated the midwives who didn't introduce themselves.
I think midwives should be nice, friendly, supportive and knowledgeable. They shouldn't belittle patients, they should teach and instruct, and find out how much or little a new Mum knows, and help her learn what she needs to so that she can care for her baby.
01-05-2012 07:40 #20
I think midwives are born to be so - caring, compassionate, honest, professional. Some people have that nature, some dont.
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