Agree with everyone else! Tell hubby to put his foot down! What's he saying about the whole situation anyway?
Personally, the first couple months after my first bub were tough - as much as u think ur prepared for a baby, u never really are! It's a huge adjustment. Plus I suffered from a little post natal depression and those first two months were TOUGH. U really need time as a family to figure out ur roles, routines.. And also just for u to deal with ur hormones, feelings etc Last thing u should have to deal with is hosting the inlaws...
Good luck with everything!!!
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29-04-2012 16:54 #11
29-04-2012 18:12 #12
I am probably the least prepared, least knowledgable mother to be in the world, and I can relate to you Jo in so far as I get chronic depression semi yearly and am still recovering from 7 months of agoraphobia and anxiety from my last trip down black lane which I came out of January social is not my specialty anymore!
Thank you Bigz. I think I will ask them to maybe come new year. My sister is due with her first as well in November and as best friends I really want to be there for her too. They are difficult people but I guess they will need to learn to respect my wishes, or I'll go stay with my parents when they lob haha
Thank you again ladies <3
29-04-2012 21:14 #13
You'll be surprised how it will come to you naturally and often quickly. They will help you in the hospital the first couple of days if you are worried. At least that's what they did here. So don't stress. If you stress bubs will stress so just take it easy and remember an expert at something was once a beginner so you'll find your feet and enjoy her while she is small :-).
29-04-2012 21:41 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
My MIL was in my face as soon as I got out of hospital *sigh*
Yeah she's in NZ first grandchild etc BUT
I didn't need the stress
it was little things that annoyed me like having to share cuddles or breastfeeding in front of a near stranger - which should be no big deal but when you are a bit shy.
Plus I felt I needed to be a bit presentable and his family are of the belief that you can treat the place like a freaking hotel and not help out doing anything, even though I'd had a c section, I was supposed to be hostess!
It just made me want my mummy, but she said that we need alone time and only come at 2 months.
Also, if you can't fend them off, make sure they get the whooping cough booster if that's important to you!
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29-04-2012 21:58 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
29-04-2012 22:08 #16
Don't do it. Tell them to come when bubs is 4 months old so that they can enjoy them a little bit. Newborns are establishing feeding and as a mum, you are on a huge learning curve. The last thing you need is a mil who most likely will know everything and "only want to help" telling you what to do with outdated information. Also, have they had a pertussis booster? Anyone going to be in contact with the baby should have their booster up to date. If you can't stop them coming, don't let them stay in your house.
I had a really difficult time with my first baby learning to feed. My mil on one occassion grabbed my boob and bubs face and jammed them together. I think if she had of been in my house 24/7 I would have ended up with PND. As it was, I was pretty close.
29-04-2012 22:40 #17
Katelyn is 7 weeks old and I'd be about able to have family stay when they want (interstate) but earlier than this would be too soon. And she's my second baby.
You just don't need someone in your home. In your space. In your face. That you aren't comfortable with. I don't always have time to get dressed and I don't have many clothes that fit comfortably so I spend a lot of time in my undies tbh. And I think with a newborn it's your absolute right to eat toast for every meal and not put on pants. And you can't do that (should you choose) with guests.
Though it would be a fun way to make people leave. Just pretend they aren't there
29-04-2012 22:53 #18
Im lucky my Inlaws are being really respectful and not coming till we are ready... It's my parents that are coming straight away... I've told my mum though that I really want time to adjust so while I don't mi d her being here and helping out I don't want to be told how to do things unless I ask her.. She can be a bit silly about some things, like when I said she couldn't be in the labour room with dh and I as we wanted that time just to us she cracked the sh*ts.
Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and if they don't respect
Your decision then too bad for them...
30-04-2012 08:20 #19
i just wonted to say that with my first two children i had this problem an i agree its better to be honest about your feelings because i found that i was angry with my ex mother in law for sum time an it affected our relationship by her being to forceful an not let us grow to know an learn our baby i felt cheated an also on another not i think it very important for first time fathers to get the chance to get know there baby to an sometimes even though the mum(his mum) is trying to help she may take over from him in here haste to help him an he needs that time to bond an learn as well i know my sons father struggled because he felt he was doing it wrong all the time when his mother took over so honesty is sometimes unpleasant yes but also important
30-04-2012 12:42 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
You could also say that the midwives have said or health nurse has said that jn the first months you need to limit the amount of different people holding and being around baby as baby needs to get to know you and your husbands smells or something like that.
I was told this by our health nurse and havnt let too many people hold our baby for long. Poor people want to but im a but clingy .
But yeh u could always use ab excuse like that so it doesn't look to much like your saying no don't come.
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