How early is too early for interstate Inlaws to come stay after I give birth? It's mother, sister inlaw, brother inlaw and 3 year old nephew. They have 'told' me they are coming to stay in our house within the first and second months after her DUE date. I'm not a particularly social, public person and I am feeling extremely uncomfortable with them dictating their own visit. What if bub arrives a week or 2 late?? I will have no settling in with her time to myself (
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29-04-2012 14:32 #1
Inlaws visiting after birth
29-04-2012 14:36 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
This is a very special and important time for you and your baby. If you dont feel comfortable with your family living with you during this time then I would be speaking to them about it asap! They should understand and respect your privacy.
Goodluck with your pregnancy and those intimate first few weeks getting to know bubs when its finally time
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29-04-2012 14:38 #3
I would be telling them they are welcome to come down once baby is a month or 2 old but they will not be staying with me, having a new bub is stressful and you don't need the added stress of them saying when they will come and where they will stay
Try and be strong and do what you think is best for you and bub
Good luck! And hugs
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29-04-2012 14:43 #4
Tell your DH he is putting his foot down, as it's his family. No way in hell I'd be hosting interstate guests (including a toddler!) weeks after giving birth. They can find a hotel.
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29-04-2012 14:54 #5
29-04-2012 14:58 #6Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
Juat say that you were really looking forward to bonding time with just your new family and perhaps 8 weeks later is a better time when things have settle down and you have more of a routine without extra people in the house. If they bring out the "babies never have a routine" line then tell them yes, but they are more settled by then.
29-04-2012 15:17 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
No, I would not have them stay with me- or anyone for that matter- especially after the birth of my first baby. I think they'll need to find a hotel nearby and then you can arrange visits during the day, and maybe dinner at night, but even that might be a stretch. It is hard as I am sure you don't want to offend them, but you need to get it sorted, otherwise you will worry about it (if you are anything like me!). Good luck
29-04-2012 15:25 #8
My in laws are in nz and they asked when they could come . We said give us time . So they are and they are only staying here 5 days and then 2 weeks up the coast. We are welcome any time at the coast
29-04-2012 15:29 #9
Thank you guys, I really appreciate both the understanding and support.
Feeling so frustrated that i am more concerned about hosting his family than the birth of my first child- sigh.
29-04-2012 15:56 #10
Maybe suggest to them to come when bubs is about 4 or 5 months because then they will be able to interact with bubs more. My MIL and a friend of hers came a week after I had DS (because he was 2 weeks, late of course he would be) and I regret letting it happen. DH and I didn't have enough time on our own with him to work out our new roles in the family, because they came do close he couldn't take any time off work because he had to take it off when they were here and I was still in the clingy wanting to hold him all the time stage. I felt like I had to do everything. I was the perfect host and did all the washing, cleaning and sightseeing (they come from OS) and she just complained about everything and now I dislike her more than I did before. I'm also now see things I don't like about her in DH and I hate that. It's really put a strain on our relationship.
So if you can't get out of it I suggest you give them lots of stuff to do. And if they complain about it tell them you thought they wanted to come so early to help you seen as bubs pretty much just eats, sleeps and p00ps. That might actually be why they are coming.
Oh and my MIL and her friend both stay with us in our 1 and a half bedroom unit. If you can find them somewhere else I recommend it for everyone's sanity, if you can't then try and get as much alone time with your bubs as you can by having your partner tell them your both still in bed or fed bubs in another room. Even if your bottle feeding.
Good luck with the birth and also your visitors
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