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  1. #1
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    Default Im so angry i wanna cry!

    grrrr i just told my hole family im back with my x and his changed (coz he has, i didnt think its possible but it was) and i got the support i need from mum and dad, and cuzins on my dads side which i hardly ever see. but the family i always see have decided i dont get support. my sister and a close cuz have practaly abandoned me now. im so hurt and i feel like crying, i thought those 2 would support me, i new they wouldnt be happy but i still thought they would. to top it off my cuzs response is this... word by word
    "to be honest, you dont have any of my support at all. i think its prob the worst thing ever. but what ever"
    my sister just stopped talking to me.
    my partners family support him 100% his sisters, everyone.

  2. #2
    babycake's Avatar
    babycake is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Funniest Thread Award
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    Hi Op.
    I guess the question is Why don't they support you? If my sister or cousin did something that I thought was silly or detrimental I probably would not support them, but I would still love them...
    They are obviously worried about you op.
    Last edited by babycake; 28-04-2012 at 14:21.

  3. #3
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    because they dont belive he has changed. they never see him. they live in west aus, i live in brissy. his so much happier now, working, seeing a counceller and got rid of all his old ways. my leaving him snapped him outa a silly mode

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    canI ask what he did before?
    was he violent?

  5. #5
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    we have known each other since i was 2. we got together everything was fine he was so happy then 1 mnth after DS was born he found out he had a brain cyst and wasnt aloud to work or be alone or even stand and hold the bub coz he was having seizures, he got stressed, and started smoking weed, he soon go addicted to it, and when he didnt get it would get angry and yell at me and break our stuff. i left him coz i couldnt deal anymore (he had surgery just after DD was born) he is not taking drugs or angry at all anymore. he goes to counselling to help, and his 100% after his surgery. he never hit me, or the kids, he would never ever hurt them.

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    They're just really worried about you but going the wrong way about it. It would be hard, looking from the outside in, to believe someone can change that dramatically, I guess they see you like they see a lot of other abuse victims, in that you are in the honeymoon stage of the cycle.

    They are probably wrong....lets hope they are. But understand that they really are worried and it might take some time of him proving himself for them to see that he really has changed.

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    Bonkers  (28-04-2012),onedayatatime  (28-04-2012)

  8. #7
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    I've seen an example of someone in a similar situation doing a complete turn around with their life when they get the right wake-up call. So it is certainly possible, just make sure you hold him to the current standard of behaviour. The family probably think you are making a mistake and feel powerless to stop you, and therefore angry. Give them time, if he really has changed they should come around eventually.

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    As a sister it's very hard to forgive and forget the horrible things my sisters dps done. The text messages she shows me etc. Im at point now where I don't want to know and I've said to her that you can't bag him and breakup and do all that expect to forget.

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    Yeh Dr Phil says something about that. He says that when you and your partners fight and break up and that, and you go to your family and tell them everything. Then you get back together again, your family isn't there when you make up, they're not there for all talks and the promises and they don't see the changes...they're still stuck back when you went to them crying on their shoulder. So it would be hard for some family members to let go of all that and trust him again like you do - give them time.

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    You don't have to like what they say, and It might not be right but they have watched you go through a lot with him, your family sees how much he let you down not that he went through a lot and lost it for a while. They probably are scared your going to be hurt again, bring them into your home when he's there and show them how much he has changed. We can see how great this is for you because we didn't witness the hurt first hand

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