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  1. #1
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    Default Do you have a 5yo that can not/will not play on their own?

    My son is 5 and can not or will not play on his own. It doesn't matter what the activity is he constantly wants someone to do it with him. It seems that the someone needs to be an adult when at home although he will play with his friends quite well if they are here or we are there. Will not play with his little sister but not overly concerned with that as she's only 2. He is not overly anxious other than what I think are normal 5yo concerns such as the dark. He's never been left in situations he wasn't comfortable with and loved kindergarten and loves school.

    So that's a bit of background, do you have a child like this and do you have any strategies that could help us encourage him to play and not need constant attention?

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    All kids mature at different rates. Have you spoken to the teacher to see how he's coping at play time at school?

    I'd build, up his confidence and independence slowly.

    For example, supervise him while playing and then announce that your going to another room for a few minutes, go and come back and compliment him on being well behaved while you're gone - and every time extend the time you're out of the room.

    Also send him to other rooms to do a set task, start with say putting clean clothes or toys in his bedroom, and encourage him to do things in the house in rooms where you are not

    Good luck

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    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    It's his temperament. I have 7yr old twins like that. They are just extreme extroverts who like to have someone to interact or soundboard off every.....second....of...the...day.

    It drives me absolutely bonkers as an introvert who needs my own time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OJandMe View Post
    It's his temperament. I have 7yr old twins like that. They are just extreme extroverts who like to have someone to interact or soundboard off every.....second....of...the...day.

    It drives me absolutely bonkers as an introvert who needs my own time.
    This!

    My daughter is the same, always needs someone around when playing, despite having a playroom full with all her toys she would rather bring them out to where I am to play and chat away to me about what's going on and she's 9 now.

    Definitely drives me bonkers at time when I just want to relax. She is a single child though which may change things but she's always preferred to play with/around someone than by herself.

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    Thank you for your responses. Whilst it doesn't make it easier for anyone it is a little reassuring to hear other people facing the same thing. He does seem to do quite well at school, listens, doesn't interrupt, plays well at recess/lunch etc so it seems to be more of a home issues.

    I truly don't understand it, I feel like I must have done something to foster this dependant behaviour but I really don't know want. We have encouraged him to be independent as much as is appropriate.

    Grrr I don't know, nothing seems to work.

    WCM: we are starting that, we have started to set a timer for 30mins in which he has to amuse himself without our assistance. He can stay in the same room, go outside, whatever he wants but he has to do it on his own without our help. Once that's over we compliment on how well he has done.

    I know it will take time but he is truly driving us to distraction!!


 

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