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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Default We need some pre-teen,Blended Family + Eating Disorder HELP :(


    My wife and I are desperate for some help/Advice and stratergies for our (My) 12 year Old Daughter, She lives with us every other week and on school holidays and we also have a younger daughter who is 1 (siblings get along beautifully)

    Our main issue is miss12's attitude of late is very off putting she seems to think that the world owes her and that money falls out of ATM's for free so that we can provide her with everything her heart desires!
    We kn ow this is typical pre teen stuff but its getting worse now she sulks when she doesnt get what she wants (emotionally devistated) as if no one cares about her because she isn't getting her own way.
    (I'm going to list someother examples to save on the length)
    - Snappy when asked to help around the house, folding a basket of laundry is like asking her to cut off a limb (this annoys us as we both work full time and we do try provide fun times and treats for the kids)
    -Rolls eyes and becomes moody when things don't go her way
    -Bossy and controlling! Will decide whats for dinner and be annoyed if we don't make it or just steam rolls on with things taking the lead even if not asked for example will pick her baby sister up and change her nappy even though she's been told not to anymore as little miss1 likes to wriggle and climb and if she fell off it would be awful or offer her sister food like "do you want some toast?? right after breakfast (we feel this is our role)

    this behaviour isn't just for us this is all and any adult, Grandparents, her mum other children...

    She has a very strong personality but we just want to teach her to respect others, appreciate what she was/gets and see that other people have rights, needs and feelings too

    She also over eats and is always thinking about the next meal 85kilos at aged 12 (we try restrict things but she has been found sneeking)

    Nothing we say or do is working
    Advice please

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Is she being bullied at school? Maybe trying to control everything at home, including her eating is because she has no control over what is happening elsewhere?
    Also, a lot of her behaviour could be put down to her hormones changing. Pre-teen hormones are crazy!!
    Good luck!

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    Findingme  (25-04-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think the behaviour you have described is all normal pre teen behaviour, sorry!!

    Why not sit her down and come up with some house rules? Include her in the process getting her to suggest what she thinks is acceptable and non acceptable behaviours - agree on these together as a family (if you have a good relationship with your ex include her too) Get her to also suggest rewards for sticking to these rules and consequences for disobeying.

    I think this approach would work a lot better than saying 'this is the way it is' as she will rebel!

    If she wants bigger ticket items (I dunno what 12 year old girls are into lol) get her to work for $ towards these, also get her to suggest types of jobs she is willing to do and work with her to come up with how much $ for these.

    I would be VERY concerned about her weight, at 12 years old unless she is ridiculously tall for her age this would put her BMI in the obese or morbidly obese category! I would suggest taking her to a dietician or health professional to address this as she hits puberty her weight could quickly balloon to much higher than this!


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