I am having serious relationship problems with my boyfriend of nearly a year. And it started 6 months ago when I moved house 30kms further north of where i lived before.
Ever since I have moved house I have barely seen him because according to him its too far to drive an extra 30kms to come and if I want to see him I have to give him $20-25 to cover petrol and being on a single parenting pension thats tough. He also seems to spend far to much time working. He is a joint CEO of a computer company and apparently he still has to go out on call outs which as a CEO he shouldnt be doing all the time anyway.
I havent even met his family and friends and we have been dating for nearly a year. The excuse is that his family will sabotage our relationship as will his best friend who doesn't want him to be with a girl who has children.
I asked him to move in with me and my ds 2 months ago because he apparantly misses me so much but he he refused to as its to far from his business office as it is over the other side of Adelaide n he doesnt want to spend more money on fuel travelling to and from work.
Things recently came to a head over the weekend where I am sick and tired of him standing me and my son up for plans we make. We were supposed to be going out for a family dinner on Sunday and that didnt hppen because he had to work and we resheduled it to monday and I told him to let me know by 3pm if we were still going to be going as I would need to get my ds car seat back from the taxi that takes him to his special needs kindy and of course he didn't tell me so I didnt get it it back n I didnt even get a txt to say we werent going till 1:38am the next day saying "sorry i had to work."
I love him so much but I am sick and tired of how he treats us, its like we dont matter to him at all. He says that we do matter to him but I said how can we as since I have moved I barely see you, and that every time we make plans they always fall through because work comes first according to him n that its not fair where he has met my family but im not allowed to meet his.
Its like he doesnt care about how I feel and every time I tell him he says im running him down n that im like is ex. And that he always has an exuse to why i cant see him
I love him and I dont want to loose him n i have told him he will loose me if he keeps treating me like this but of course he doesnt think that will happen.
I dont know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!
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25-04-2012 11:00 #1
Relationship Problems (long)
25-04-2012 11:07 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
any man that would ask you for $20 petrol money to come and see you (sp cause you on a single parents pension)...is not worth it!
He has also said that he is basically hiding you from family and friends.
I may be harsh here...but, you deserve someone who would walk over hot coals in order to show you off to the world.
From my experience...if he wanted to come and see you he would find a way.
huge hugs, i hope you feel better soon
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25-04-2012 11:15 #3
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25-04-2012 11:23 #4
my dp and I live 90km away from each other.. I don't have a car at this stage so he does all the driving to and from.. every weekend for the last 6 months. I have offered him petrol money numerous times but he refuses to accept it. He also works night shift so is often very tired but he still makes that trip every weekend, he tells me I'm "worth every kilometer". I met his mother only a couple of months into the relationship. Sorry I'm not trying to rub it in I hope it's not coming across that way but if a man really wants to be there with you and see you, he will make the effort without having to be pushed. You deserve better. Maybe a break away from him will wake him up a bit?
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25-04-2012 11:28 #5
He sounds like a loser and a liar.
Forget him, find someone worth your time and affection.
25-04-2012 11:28 #6
He's making far too many excuses. I'm sorry but I wouldn't trust this man with your heart if I were you. I'm sorry but it sounds to me like you should put yourself and your child first
Have you ever heard this poem:
"If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back to you, its yours.
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be"
25-04-2012 11:42 #7Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Actions speak louder than words. If he treats you like you don't matter, hides you from his family/friends, refuses to commit and move in yet won't even bother making a 30km trip without asking for petrol money when you are in hardship, then I think that says everything. The saying that you are important to him is just that: words. I mean, you can't expect him to honestly say that you don't matter, right? He says what you want him to say.
In addition, the not confirming plans until 1am the morning with no regard for the fact that you have to pick up the baby seat just sounds to me like he's treating you like a booty call and is inconsiderate of your son tbh.
The truth hurts but your son (and you!) deserve better than some jerk who won't even acknowledge a relationship with you to his family/relatives.
25-04-2012 11:43 #8
It sounds like he's actually not all that emotionally invested in this relationship.
A guy who really wants to see you will eat baked beans for a week to make it happen if he has to. He won't tell you that you have to pay for the pleasure of his company... what a joke!
It sounds like the relationship may have run its course. I'm sorry to say that, but it sounds like he's just not terribly interested in seeing you, and acting like it's something that would only benefit you and thus you should fork out for it... and that's just not a good place to be starting a lifelong relationship. I'd end it now. Save yourself some heartache.
25-04-2012 11:46 #9
I don't mean to sound harsh but do you know for fact he's CEO. He seems to be acting shady, hiding you from his family and friends. A lot of in laws try to destroy their child's relationship, it's nothing new. But asking for petrol when he's apparently CEO and working so much extra hours seems fishy. Not following through on plans.
This guy seems like he's checking out and you deserve better.
I apologise if I'm out of line but that's how I've interpreted your post. Best of luck
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25-04-2012 11:51 #10
Agree with all other posters!
He is a CEO yet asks you for money for petrol? A CEO would also not attend call outs on weekends, that's the jobs for employees, the perks of being a CEO mean you don't do the menial tasks!! I smell a huge rat here!
He's hiding you from family and friends, has hardly seen you for 6 months?
TBH and this is gonna be harsh, I think when you lived closer you were just a booty call not ever really in a proper relationship, sorry!
Everything you have posted is not how a 'normal' relationship works, I think the constantly canceling making excuses is because he can get what he wants from someone else!
Kick him to the curb!!!!!! He sounds like a total waste of space!! I wouldn't even bother contacting him, I would put money on it would be a while before you hear from him! If and when you do tell him it's over!
Sorry this is happening you and you DS deserve someone who wants you in their lives, not this douche bag!
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