My kids are just under 22 months apart. I think there are pros and cons of any age gap and this is what im experiencing atm and so far (DS is only 2.5 months old though so i am not far along this journey):
- It is very hard being pregnant with a child who is still quite physically dependent on you and still waking at night. It was also hard being close to useless at time while dealing with pregnancy and knowing i wasnt being a good parent to DD (although this part probably comes with any age gap).
- I feel like i missed out with being able to share the excitement of pregnancy with DD as she was too young to understand
- I am very lucky with DD in that she has been fantastic with DS, although that is not always the case and I cant really ever leave them alone as she doesnt really understand what can hurt him and what cant. This is tough.
- It is very hard taking a toddler and a baby outside of the house. Its not just the prep and that type of stuff but DD is very hard to have outside the house because she is pushing boundaries all the time and likes to run off. There is only so much I can do to control her while with a nb.
- I feel like it would have been easier if DD had been old enough to reason with when DS came along. I really cant wait until she understands things a bit better and I can bargain for good behaviour. There is just very little i can do about her tantrums atm and, like i said above, it makes it hard to leave the house.
- Tantrums at this age can just be terrible. They really upset the baby and this makes it all very stressful.
- A pro is that DD was still having a day nap which was a life saver in pregnancy. Even if i didnt get a nap in, the lie down was very necessary!!
I am not sure what a 2.5 yo is like yet, so not sure if this would make it an easier age gap or not. I think a bigger age gap would be preferable when thinking about how you will deal with pregnancy and when the baby comes along. However, obviously there is a lot more to it than just how you will cope at this time. For us, this age gap had the advantage that they will only be one year apart at school (so possible for me to get back to work quicker), and Im getting older and want the possibility of a third before i get into my late thirties. If it wasnt for these things, I would probably have preferred a three year age gap.
of course, these things often don't come down to logic. When you want a baby, you want a baby!! i remember lapping up posts such as this when i was in the same position as you and really wanting #2 and hoping to read something where everyone said this was the perfect age gap!!
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07-06-2012 13:55 #11Senior Member
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07-06-2012 15:36 #12
I originally wanted 2 under 2 and wanted to start TTC when DD turned 1, but DH wasn't keen on the idea. We ended up falling pregnant when DD was 18.5 months so she'll be 27months when her sister comes along.
I freak out sometimes at this gap and am glad we didn't try earlier. DD, while very independent, can be very clingy at times (esp when she's unwell) so it can be hard. But I know once we're through the initial difficulties that a newborn brings to the house, we'll love the close-ish age gap.
07-06-2012 17:25 #13
I am due in september with no. 2 and ds will be 23 months old. I know it will be hard but I just knew when I was ready to start trying for another baby. It just felt rite and we fell pregnant straight away. I've got 3 months to go (ds is 20 months old) and and so happy that we will have another bundle soon, as hard as it will be I'm happy with the gap
07-06-2012 17:35 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
We did it and are planning on the same gap for bub #3. The hardest part has just been the small things like wrangling 2 bubs into the car on a rainy day but now that DD1 can manage stairs and climb in and out of the car it is way easier. I'm close with my sister who is about 2 years younger than me. I don't remember life without her! I don't have as strong a bond with my 8 years younger sister. My DH is dreading the hormonal teenage years but at least we get to serve then concurrently and not consecutively!
07-06-2012 17:55 #15
Mine are 20 months apart. BEST thing I ever did. At now 4 and 6 - they are the best of friends, I'm only catering to one interest group, they play together, share friends, DD is only the year behind DS in school.
I love it. I would never change it and would totally recommend it.
16-06-2012 20:02 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
anyone else have this age gap?
we were going to try for it, but now the time has come i just don't feel "ready" so to speak, i don't have the feeling to have another bub just yet, which is strange because ive had that feeling for the last 11 months, but in the past month its changed and due to personal circumstances it looks like we might be waiting another year before TTC unless we change our minds again hehe
11-07-2012 23:26 #17
Our DD is 10 months and DP wants another child already. HE is being very vague about it but he is definately the clucky one. I think we will TTC after DD is 1 and then we two will have that two year gap. I am nervous about this however.
05-09-2012 15:57 #18
Just joining in on the conversation as I think I'll be doing the same. Hubby and I always thought we would have a relatively close gap between bubs, somewhere between 18 months and 2.5 years I think.
DD is 7 months now so will be starting to TTC soonish. Hubby, myself and DD are all born in the same month so trying to work things out so the next one is different. It's up to nature of course so we'll see how things go.
After speaking to friends of mine they all seem to say that a smaller gap is better and they wish they had gone for the 2nd a lot earlier than 3 or 4 years.
Kind of freaks me out thinking I'll be pregnant again soon though, not sure I've gotten over the last one!
05-09-2012 20:12 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
TTC when my bubba turns 1??....
I have an 18 month gap between DS & DD2 & a 2.5 year gap between DD1 & 2...I found the 18 month gap easier! Same routine, naps at the same time, no kindy runs & older child too young to get jealous
05-09-2012 20:25 #20
TTC when my bubba turns 1??....
I wish I could start trying when DS turns one but unfortunately it comes down to finances and not picking the ideal age gap...will be waiting to ttc when DS is 2
By babylove81 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 19Last Post: 05-02-2012, 11:03
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