Just as a little tangent- what I love about ivf is the bigger boozies, even if they're only there for a month
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23-04-2012 20:45 #31
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24-04-2012 11:56 #32
Strangely with this stupid gamble addiction, when I finally feel that we'll be getting a take home baby (next week), I still don't feel as if I've won something. It's a feeling of "Wow, thank God I scraped through this time".
Last edited by Frostysmum; 24-04-2012 at 19:04.
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24-04-2012 12:50 #33
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24-04-2012 14:27 #34
I have a beautiful dd from out first cycle and yes the pain went away for a while. But when we were ready to try again all those emotions returned. It's heart breaking on a different level because I feel like my DD deserves a sibling. She is wonderful with babies and adores them. I am now fighting for me, dh and now dd to get another baby and that pressure is enormous. I always thought the pressure would subside once I had ONE perfect baby. Nope, I want it just as bad and I am scared for some many other reasons this time.
I also get afraid of losing her. She had her first operation today (just grommets in day surgery) and I am sure every mum gets upset but I feel like I was upset on a whole new level. She is my miracle and my entire world. She was so hard to get, what if I ever lose her? I am so scared of this. Would I live with these constant feelings of fear if I had of conceived her naturally? Maybe a little bit, but probably not to this extent.
I also hate when people say well you have one perfect baby...as if to say, so what if you can't have another one. Well my feelings aren't any different to anyone else who can conceive naturally. When your baby gets to a certain age (for me, 1 yr old) you start to get clucky again. What am I supposed to do with those feelings, switch them off because I already have one perfect baby? That's not fair, and no I can not. I love her in a way that no one else (that conceives naturally) will ever understand. ivf has left me as damaged goods...on so many levels.
Last edited by nicole83; 24-04-2012 at 14:37.
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24-04-2012 14:27 #35
I don't know if other clinics are the same, but I hate that they tell you to NOT expect it to work the first time (meaning they don't think it will either), yet they don't organise for you to see the FS to start a new cycle on time if it doesn't work.
My FET was a BFN and my AF came early and I was told that I would have to wait another month because I was 1 day behind...well I wouldn't have been 1 day behind if you had already organised for me to see you incase it didn't work.
I cried and got my way, but I feel terrible about it
24-04-2012 14:33 #36
I also wanted to add I hate how emotional it is...
I started jabbing again yesterday and I cry everytime I do it because, for me, last time I did all this I got pregnant but unfortunately lost it.
I guess it just reminds me of how I felt the first time around, and makes me upset that I may never feel that way again because it will never work.
Oh geez...shouldn't have read and posted in here just before work!
24-04-2012 14:33 #37
... Double post
24-04-2012 14:35 #38
24-04-2012 14:41 #39
Well see, I thought I was being smart by booking ahead but they said they couldn't see me until May and I guess I chucked a polite wobbly on the phone and they got me in yesterday which would have been fine if my AF came on time and not early!
I was just so miffed that I would have to wait another month all because of 1 day, but then my FS said that 1 day can make all the difference, so now I'm worried
24-04-2012 15:04 #40
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