Oh gawd...please tell me someone else's toddler has the WORST tantrums/meltdowns...? DD is just over 2.5yo and she is just going through the most PAINFUL tantrum phase at the moment - I'm calling them "no" fits because she just keeps saying "NO! NO! NO!" and flailing around on the ground when she's not happy with things or doesn't get her way. Honestly, it's driving me out of my mind! AND I've got Baby #2 due any day now, so I'm as big as a house, exhausted and soooo not in the mood for her shenanigans.
I can't help but wonder if her behaviour has anything to do with the new baby's impending arrival, especially as she veers from being totally disagreeable to super clingy with me (doesn't want Daddy's help or company). The other thing I'm wondering about is if she's having some sort of developmental leap/growth spurt because her language and motor skills have just exploded in the last few weeks - she's really becoming more independent and capable these days, bless - and maybe that's linked to the tantrums (ie wants to assert her independence/right to do things her way). Either way it sucks to have to deal with!
Peak times from crankiness are first thing in the morning, waking up after naps and the nightly bedtime routine (which has always been great and hasn't changed). Another area that causes aggro is using the toilet. We did the cold-turkey-no-more-day-or-night-nappies toilet training thing a few months ago and she took to it like a duck to water, and while she's good about telling us she needs to have a wee, she's terrible about No 2s. It's so frustrating - we'll either see her do a little shudder or bend her knees when the urge comes, or she'll say once that she needs to go to the toilet, but when we ask her to come with us to the toilet she'll protest vigourously and then go in her underpants. So frustrating! Not even the lure of stickers works anymore...
Anyway, that's my vent. I love her to pieces and most of the time she's my beautiful little buddy, but when she has one of those tantrums, I just want to scream!! I can't help but think of that nursery rhyme "There once was a girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good...but when she was bad she was horrid!" (which, incidentally, my own mother said used to apply to me as a toddler...!). So if anyone can tell me their child has carried on like this (and maybe how they deal with it), I'd feel a whole lot better...
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20-04-2012 12:06 #1
Dealing with 2yo MELTDOWNS - empathy, please!
20-04-2012 12:33 #2
Yep. My 2 1/2 year old DS is doing the same stuff. Fun, isn't it?? He was bad for a few months but is coming out if it now and is mostly happy after sleeps, but bath time is still a bit iffy.
We had DD just over a month ago and the first couple of weeks home were a nightmare. But he has gotten better with that too. Was great with her, but ignored me and tantrums lasting 20 mins weren't unusual.
Hang in there. It's bl00dy hard to deal with, but hopefully your DD snaps out of it soon.
20-04-2012 12:46 #3
Hugs your dd is totally normal. There is a lot of change happening that might be slightly compounding things but we had none of this change at that age and still had major major meltdowns.
Over time I found the best way to avoid them was compromise. So if dd wanted to do something I didn't want her to, we would find a middle ground. Also I chose my battles wisely, something's are not worth the drama. Also I find I practically move mountains at bedtime to avoid them and keep routine very strict. Bribery works. Find her currency, obviously she has upped the ante from stickers, by the time she is 16 it will dates with boys, telephones etc.
It's a very tough time. She is learning to be independent and self sufficient but she still really needs you. She can sense change and needs to hear from you a million times in the day that you are her best big girl ever. Give her a special teddy/dolly that is from you and explain it to be a special present to remind her how much you live and adore her.
It will probably be tough welcoming a new sibling but just reaffirm your love, especially when she has tried you to your wits end!
Don't stress about the toilet training too much. Just expect huge set backs and go with the easiest option for now. Make your life easy as you will soon have a newborn too. She won't bd in nappies when she walks down the aisle. Put her back in pull ups if need be. Try rewards but only if you have the energy.
Good luck for a safe, easy delivery and transition.
20-04-2012 13:02 #4
Oh man, so not looking forward to this. I'll be hanging around for a few pointers!
20-04-2012 17:08 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Oh yeah! Glorious tantrums that I myself as a reformed "paddy" thrower am envious of. We've narrowed 2 triggers down as hunger and hair ponytails being too tight. I definitely nap now so I am ready for post nap cranky's. Wrong side of the bed!
20-04-2012 17:30 #6
Yep, perfectly normal. My DD screams "no daddy don't to it!" at the top of her voice when he's trying to help her out with the most mundane of daily things - can't imagine what the neighbours must think!
I just reassure myself it wont last for ever, and try to distract her from her tanty as much as possible.
20-04-2012 17:47 #7
Sadly normal Great big hugs! My toddler has thrown some doozies lately.
20-04-2012 18:00 #8
My 22 month old is currently at this stage! It's hell! While she is throwing herself on the ground screaming she scratchs at her face, neck and ears sooo badly! She is currently a bloody mess! And there is no way to calm her down! Let's hope these terrible twos decide to end soon
20-04-2012 19:43 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Oh yes, we call them 'excorsist' (sp?) tantys. DS will hurl himself at solid things (doors, floors, walls) run around house yelling and screaming, hit everyone, gag, throw things, over the most insignificant issues (milk in wrong cup, me peeling his yogurt lid off instead of him, etc) and it snowballs from there regardless of how we try to diffuse the drama. He has been doing it for 6 months and no.slowing down so far!!
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20-04-2012 20:17 #10
Have to laugh, :what: or I'd cry, some are dozies! I call them the cockroach, flat on his back arms and legs flailing around. I just step over him and walk off.
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