So I am just going to write a post directed at a few people I’ve encountered – some family, some friends, some … just… ummm people. But anyhoo I’m not the type to cause a stir when it won’t make a difference. I’m often the one to back down and be the bigger person so to speak. But I just want to get a few things off my chest. Please don’t be offended as I am not directing this at YOU. Just putting it out there – to get it out of me in a way. Anyway – feel free to ignore
I am single….. a single mother in fact. Yes I know that – but why does that mean I have different expectations set upon me?? I used to be married – and STILL a mother … still me! But all of a sudden I am now the post up woman for the ‘judge me’ police.
Just because I don’t break down every time my children go to their father doesn’t mean I love them any less. Yes I know you could NEVER be away from your children for a whole weekend – but guess what?? Neither could I – if I had a choice. But I don’t. I am not longer with the father of my children and I wouldn’t want to rob them of a relationship with their father. He’s a good dad to them. I would love to tuck them into bed every single night. But I can’t. I didn’t ask for it – so please don’t judge.
I drink wine OMG! I know – horrid mother I am!! Slap my wrist and call me bad names … but could you bring me a glass back if you're heading to the fridge Even worse I go out! Yep… out! I know it’s shocking. I know you’d never leave you babies to go out…. Guess what – neither would I! I never leave my boys for a night on the town. I only ever go out when they are at their father’s. They are there every second weekend. I didn’t ask for it – so please don’t judge me.
I buy myself things. Like clothes and coffee and magazines. I don’t wear undies with holes in them. I don’t have saggy trackies as my everyday clothes. I do my hair and make-up daily. I did before …. And I do now. I make nice food and I like to hire movies. My kids are not missing out, malnourished or unloved. I have a lot less money now then I did before but I make it work – for us. I collect money from centrelink and I’ll hold my head high and proudly declare it to who’ll ever listen. I even work part-time as it is more beneficial than full time. I didn’t ask for it – so please don’t judge me.
Feel free to tell me about how hard it is without your husband while he goes on a trip for 3 days. I’ll listen and empathise. Tell me how you’re like a single mother because your partner works 7 on 7 off. Or doesn’t get home til 6pm and I’ll feel for. Tell me how difficult it is because your hubby is fishing this weekend and I’ll agree. Complain to me about your other half not helping around the house as much as you and not getting up to the kids through the night so you never get any sleep and I'll nod in agreement at the unfairness of it. I’ll be your back up girl when you’re lonely for the night because your partner is out on a buck’s night. But…. Just spare a moment in your day - to think about the fact that this is my everydayness. You struggle with one, two, three nights.. And I wholeheartedly understand – I would never wish for you to be single or to walk a day in my shoes. But please don’t forget me again once he is home. Because my loneliness is never ending. My ability to share my day resides with facebook status updates. My sharing of exciting things in mine or my kids lives is a non occurrence. So don’t laugh at how often I post on FB because sometimes that’s my only adult interaction. I didn’t ask for it – so please don’t judge me.
Yes – I’ve slept with men… and I didn’t date them. Barely knew some of their names in fact. I’m single – not dead… I still have a strong desire for sex and no one to have it with. I am not ready to have a relationship. And yes you are right I do deserve to be happy… and guess what – I AM!!! And shock horror (cue fainting) I don’t NEED a man to make me happy. I know right…. I should really just accept any offer going because I’m a single mother and my ship of choice has passed. I really oughtn’t be picky or selective. Beggars can’t be choosers and all. NEWS FLASH!! I’m not begging. I’m ok with my situation. I am happy with my life. I am happy to wait until Mr Right waltzes into my life on his own accord. I didn’t ask for it – so please don’t judge me.
Thanks for reading if you got this far
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17-04-2012 18:34 #1
I’m single…. Not dead!
Last edited by Theboys&me; 17-04-2012 at 21:54.
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17-04-2012 18:39 #2-
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
well writen! A good reminder for us all
The Following User Says Thank You to tea&toast For This Useful Post:
17-04-2012 18:43 #3
Nice one TB&M! I think you're ace!
The Following User Says Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:
17-04-2012 18:45 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Great post, very well written. I'm sure you'll open some eyes too.
The Following User Says Thank You to peasmum For This Useful Post:
17-04-2012 18:45 #5
Sorry your getting a hard time babe. You have nothing to be ashamed of, I'm surprised your getting judged so harshly!! How rude.
I think your an amazing mum/person
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17-04-2012 18:49 #6-
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
Oh lovey, that could have been me writing that. I do all those things too. I'm lucky that my friends don't judge, but I see it happen to others. You rock.
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17-04-2012 18:51 #7
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17-04-2012 18:57 #8
Brilliant!!! Well done you. I wish I had such amazing self assurance when I was a single mum, instead I succumbed to that judging and thought I was so much "less"....
Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 17-04-2012 at 19:28.
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17-04-2012 18:57 #9
Well written. I am a married Mum of 2, with a few single Mum friends and not a day goes by that I dont think 'how do they do it'. When I tell them how much I admire them and ask how they cope, they always reply 'you do what has to be done'. So true, but I still admire their strength
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17-04-2012 18:58 #10
OP, you're awesome
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