When did your baby learn how to self settle? My little man is 16 weeks old and does not know how to self settle yet. We usually have to resort to pushing him in the pram, or patting his back while he is on our chest..
For those that use to rock or pat your baby to sleep, did your little ones just grow out of it? Or did you have to carry on still doing it when they were/are a little older??
Also if anyone has any tips on how i can teach my baby how to self settle that would be great.
Thankyou in advance.
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17-04-2012 08:36 #1Senior Member
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17-04-2012 08:43 #2
Hayden was about 18 months, Mikayla is nowhere near ready to self settle yet and she's 9 months. I've never tried to teach my kids to self settle, I always stay with them pat, rock, feed, read or whatever I need to until their asleep. It wasn't until I was reading to Hayden one night, and he all of a sudden rolled over and said "ni night mum" and sent me on my way that I knew he didn't need my help anymore.
Hayden is now the best sleeper you could ever hope for. He goes to bed at 8pm, rarely an argument, and sleeps till 6:30-7am. Never wakes up through the night, never gets up
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17-04-2012 08:52 #3
My almost 12 month old does it most bed times.
She has done it since about 8 months, she grabs her security blanket shoves it over her face and rolls to face away from me.
I didn't teach it either, that's just what she does
17-04-2012 09:38 #4
My ds wouldn't self settle pretty much at all til 15 months of age. Then we instigated a very strict (and quite long) bedtime routine and did controlled crying. He then learnt how to self settle and has been pretty good at it ever since (he's 5 now). I don't think there was any long term harm in us rocking/patting/feeding/whatever him to sleep until 15 months of age. He needed sleep and sleep is the priority, not how he got to sleep.
My dd has been great at self settling from day 1 and I didn't do anything differently (except ds had bad reflux and dd hasn't got reflux). BUT, she can still go for a week or two and refuse to self settle at all. Even on her good days though she's more likely to self settle in the morning/early afternoon and pretty unlikely to self-settle in the late afternoon/evening. What I do with my dd is put her in her cot sleepy but awake and leave her and see what happens. If she cries I go & get her & help her go to sleep. But often she'll just lie there (or roll around) until she's comfy and then she'll fall asleep. She's just done that actually ... I watched her on the video monitor roll all around the cot & now she's asleep along the foot of the cot on her blanket
17-04-2012 09:51 #5
With DD2 she self settled pretty much from the beginning. I thought I'd have to rock her like I did with DD1 but nope. At the beginning actually I would rock her in her bassinett and she would look at me and just stay awake. Then one day I just put her in her wrap and gave her a cuddle and put her in the bassinett and left and she slept. No grizzling, no noise. So I sneaked in and she was fast asleep. She still can go to sleep by herself, she sings herself to sleep now. What she can't do sometimes is go back to sleep after 45 min (the first sleep cycle) but I just get her then and wait till she gets grizzly again. I tried to put her back to sleep after 45 min and it doesn't work, too much protest.
So it was all her, I didn't have to do anything. lucky I know. But it doesn't always last, I know it can change.
17-04-2012 09:52 #6
DS (6mo) has been self settling for a while for day naps and bedtime. The key for me was to have a consistent go to bed routine involving a 5-10 minute wind down before being put down and the right timing - i.e. not too tired, not too awake. Try looking up the 4 S ritual for some ideas.
17-04-2012 10:07 #7
I'm all for self settling. My bub is 12mths old and up til a few months ago was in the habit of waking at 10pm and 2am every night out of habit. I would always go to him, rub his back til he was asleep or if that didn't work I would give him a bottle. In the end I thought enough was enough and would let him grizzle when he woke, would wait 10mins before I went in. Only twice was he still awake after the 10mins. He learnt to self settle. Before long he wasn't waking at all through the night. Need to draw the line and toughen up. He's a much better baby sleeping well at night and I'm a happier mummy getting my sleep.
17-04-2012 11:50 #8-
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i boob to sleep, but dd resettles on her own at night (unless she needed a feed) since birth.
17-04-2012 12:14 #9Senior Member
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- Mar 2009
Both my bubs could self settle as newborns, but grew out of it at about 3 or 4 months! DS was probably worse than DD, and I fed him to sleep for a while and then changed to patting in the cot.
If your bub likes having his back patted, could you try patting him in the cot? But then you have to eventually wean off the patting anyway. I have read about a pick up, put down method that is meant to work for under 6 month olds, where you put them down for sleep, when they cry, pick them up, when they're calm put them down, until they go to sleep on their own. Sounds like could take a while, but I think it would be worth it.
I had to resort to a bit of CCing at 9 months for DS and 7 months for DD, but they are both great sleepers now.
17-04-2012 13:06 #10Junior Member
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- May 2010
We have always had a very good bedtime routine that actually starts at about 5pm and finishes at 7pm She eats dinner at 5pm she's a very slow eater and always has been so we wrap up dinner time at 6pm then DH gives her a bath, plays/reads a book with her until about 6:45ish then I BF her to sleep... She is in bed and fast asleep by 7pm every night...
I really think a routine that is easy for all members of the family to live by is key to getting bubby to settle I wouldn't expect a young baby to "self settle" they still dont understand that they are seperate from their mammas so young... I never bothered with "controled crying" I found that alot of people recommended it to me so I would say I did it just to shut them up but I couldn't listen to my baby crying... If she didn't feed to sleep when she was young I rocked her I was so happy to rock her there is no need for bedtimes to become stressful for you and bubby... I get why it does get stressful though because I went through a stage where I was just soooo over rocking! I just wanted time for myself where I could just wind down and get some relaxation and rest in before I had to get up for the next feed!!
Just get yourself a great routine, be patient and in time bubby will happily go on his/her own and when that day comes you will be like "Oh but I wanna rock you!!!" My DD goes to bed on her own most nights... I get sad about it because I still want to rock her and cuddle her to sleep! xxx
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