It does sound smothering BUT if my husband went out after work and didnt tell me beforehand, and onlu did after the fact, I would be quite angry. Its just polite to me, for us to tell each other what we are doing etc.
But then again we also message each other many times during the day.
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19-04-2012 07:36 #21
19-04-2012 09:52 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
It might actually be jealousy???
I know sometimes I get a little 'antsy' if DH does more than his usual football training etc.
For instance he went to fill in for a friend playing darts at the local pub last night, I was invited, but be buggered if I was going to sit in dingy pub with an 8 month old while being 4 1/2 months UTD.
It wasn't that I didn't want him to go, it was that i wasn't in the position to go with him and socialise...
But for me those feelings only last about 5 mins after he leaves, specially when he bought me a block of chocolate to eat alllllllll by myself while I watched crap on tv
03-05-2012 00:51 #23Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
DF would be horrified if I was anything like that so YES she is smothering him! I think she needs to sit down with her hubby and work out some rules when it comes to communicating if she wants their relationship to last. In her attempt to bring them closer she's only pushing him away and the poor guy is going to reach a boiling point and it's going to be far from pretty!
DF and I know that when he's at work and I need to tell him something, I text him. If he needs more info he will call me back and convos are quick and straight to the point. If he's running late or has a call out, he texts to let me know. If he's Not going to be home til really late, he calls so I know to not wait for him and have dinner without him.
If either of us are out with friends we give an estimated time we will be home. We do not call unless it's a serious emergency and only text if it's important and can't wait. When it's family we're out with, we send texts as we feel like it.
DF usually calls me once through the day for a long chat to see how DS and myself are going but only if he's got time between jobs to do so.
DF also calls on his way home from anywhere to let me know he's coming home and if I need him to pick anything up...
I think it's good to have rules, sure sometimes we don't follow them 100% of the time but by having a mutual agreement in terms of how we communicate when we aren't together is healthy. There's nothing worse than feeling like you don't want to come home. In my experience I've found that DF more often than not rejects invitations to go for a drink after work or go out with his mates because he actually wants to be home and spend time with DS and I.
09-05-2012 12:41 #24
She sounds a bit possessive and clingy. She needs to learn to trust him and give him some space. And while he is doing things without her (fishing etc) she should be finding hobbies/interests etc to keep her mind occupied instead of calling/waiting for his calls/texts all the time.
I was once like this myself (back when I was a teenager) and my (then) boyfriend broke up with me because of it (I was 18) and from then on I have done the above. Give my boyfriend space/time alone to do things, caught up with friends etc., I know from experience that most guys hate being smothered like that.
If I get ignored though, I can at times become a bit clingy. Eg if I send a text to dp in the day and he hasn't got back to me for days then I will txt/call again. I hate being ignored but I also don't wanna be the clingy girlfriend either. It's all about balance.
Last edited by mum2bubba; 09-05-2012 at 12:47.
09-05-2012 13:39 #25
She does sound a little OTT but I have to admit on days where I get lonely or the kids are driving me around the bend I probably ring DH at work a little more than I should and sometimes find myself stopping myself. Once he's out the only time I text is if it gets to the wee hours of the morning and he's not home.
I think sometimes it's a hard balance, she does sound lonely and maybe her DH doesn't quite understand how lonely she is but then she's contacting him too much as well. I'd say it's a tough situation for them both.
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