A friend is having relationship problems.
Her DH didnt come home from work this evening, instead going fishing (and drinking) with his friends.
He told her this once they were already out, rather than before the fact.
He feels smothered, as she texts and calls him multiple times a day, (while hes at work, and its always 'just to chat') and if he is late home or out with his friends she expects a call/text every hour at least.
If he doesnt call/text she will call him repeatedly (as in hang up and ring again, and again) until he turns off his phone.
She then gets upset, he stays away for a few days, then they make up. This has been happening for as long as Ive known them.
Personally I think she needs to trust him, and give him some space. I really think someone calling me and wanting me on standby every waking moment would drive me crazy.
Her sister blames the husband for 'ignoring' her, and thinks he should call her as much as she wants.
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17-04-2012 02:04 #1-
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17-04-2012 02:23 #2
I think he is being smothered. Could they maybe talk and arrange that he makes sure to call/text if he will be home late so she doesn't feel uncertain and need to constantly check?
And he probably told her after they were out because he knew she would get upset over it?
Last edited by chameleon; 17-04-2012 at 09:55.
17-04-2012 09:08 #3
If my partner behaved like that, I think I would feel smothered too and after years of it, would "rebel" by not taking calls as well. I think she perhaps has trust issues that she needs to work on as it must be tiring for her DH. has he given her any reason not to trust him?
I expect a text/call if my DH is going to be late, and text him if i need him to stop at the shops for milk or whatever, but apart from that I don't bother him at work unless it's important. If he's at work he's there to work, not chat to me.
17-04-2012 09:12 #4
She sounds OTT, I couldn't stand that at all.
17-04-2012 09:19 #5
I think he's being smothered. She sounds so needy.
17-04-2012 09:22 #6Senior Member
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I think he needs to TELL her that he needs her to not text/call so often. She's not likely to be a mind reader so if she's in a habit of wanting to talk to him all of the time, how is she to know he doesn't like it?
I personally like it when DP goes out with his friends on his fortnightly do that he attends. I get to eat chocolate and watch crap on TV! But this isn't for everyone and this may be an incompatibility between the two but they need to talk about it.
17-04-2012 09:36 #7
Smothering for sure, everyone needs their own space
17-04-2012 09:38 #8
Why does she feel the need to call/text him so much in the first place? Does she not trust him? I don't blame her DH. I'd feel smothered too.
17-04-2012 09:46 #9
Your friend is ridiculously OTT and needs to back off!!!!
She clearly has some major trust issues!! If I were her DH I would not be answering her calls either!!!
She needs to seek help and ASAP before he up and leaves for good not just a few days!!!
17-04-2012 09:47 #10
I would stay out too.
If he tells her he is going out before hand does she still call?
I personally couldnt handle that. Does she have friends she can go out with sometimes?
They need to have a talk and work out some alone time that suits both of them if she continues to behave like that she will lose him. I think grown adults don't need their partners calling them very hour. I would be switching my phone off.
Sorry but I don't blame the guy. Fair enough talk before hand let her know etc but I suspect she makes a big deal of him going out so it's either he just goes or she wont let him.
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