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  1. #1
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    Default How much help from family do you get?

    I am due in September with bub no. 2. DP works away and will be having the week before I'm due off and two weeks after my due date. My mum will come up and stay with us from my due date so she is there to look after DS. She lives an hour and a half away so much better then calling her up in the middle of the night expecting her to drive up. She will stay at our house probably until I come home from hospital then go home, but when DP goes back to work (away) she will take holidays and come stay with me.

    Yesterday I found out that a family member has been having a good old b#tch about me saying that nobody should expect to see my mum in September because I'm having a baby. She was saying that I need to learn to cope by my self and that her mum only stayed for 2 days with her blah blah I'm sure there was much more said. (her husband doesn't work away)

    Any way it got me thinking how much help did you get? I'm very close with my mum and having her stay when DP goes away will be such a big help and it's not like she's just down the road either.
    Maybe she's just jealous?
    Last edited by Tazzy; 16-04-2012 at 20:05.

  2. #2
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    We didn't get any help last time and we won't this time as much as I would love some, apart from DD being looked after on the big day. My first pregnancy my mum helped a little and my last pregnancy which ended badly my mil would come around and clean and do the washing every couple of days because I was on bed rest but I think it was more to look after her son so he didn't have to do it all on his own while I was on strict bed rest. I would be happy to learn that anyone I know was getting help whilst pregnant or after the birth any kind of support from family would be a blessing, sounds like your other family member is just jealous and has nothing else exciting going on in their lives but others business, I wouldn't worry, enjoy your mums company and help.

  3. #3
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    None.

    She does sound jealous, maybe she would have liked to have what you have. But it's all just gossip anyway, I wouldnt take it to heart.
    Last edited by bada; 16-04-2012 at 20:33.

  4. #4
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    We got none at all.

    My mum is useless and even when I called her and desperately asking for help, she couldn't because her dog had just got its needles and she didn't want to leave it. I didn't realise a dog comes before your daughter who had just had her first baby and isn't coping at all.

  5. #5
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    My Mum is like that too.

    When I had my daughter, Mum was the only person who made sure to visit me in hospital every day... even my partner at the time didn't! She spent all day, every day, in hospital with me. Even when it wasn't visiting hours, she would sit quietly reading in case I needed her.

    When I had my gallbladder out, she came to stay with me to look after me post-op (and to help take care of my daughter).

    When I had my surgery last year, she had my daughter stay with her while I was in hospital, and then came and looked after us both in my home (my partner was working away) while I recovered.

    If I said I needed help and was going to have another baby, she would be here I would imagine. She is fantastic and I love her.

    She too lived 1.5 hours away... so it's not the kind of help you get where you just say, "Mum can you watch DD for an hour while I..." but I get good quality help when I really need it instead.

    My mother is the only help I get in that respect. Without her, I think I would pretty much get none unless I really begged for it.

  6. #6
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    I didn't get any help with my mum, first time around she was working (I gave birth early, so DD was 4 weeks old when my mum went on leave), second time around I didn't want her help.
    MIL helped a lot with DD1 when DD2 was born. She was only down the road and came to look after DD at 4am when I was ready to go to hospital. She looked after DD that whole day, and the day after. A few times she took DD in the first few weeks after DD2 was born. DF wasn't working at the time so we didn't really need any more than what she did for us, but if we did I know she would have been there. Love my MIL

  7. #7
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    My mum did loads for me post DDs birth and my mil came up for a week when DH went back to work so I could focus on just feeding DD and sleeping.

    Your family member sounds jealous. That's wonderful your mum is so helpful.

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    It does sound like the person may just be jealous/envious that you will have help from your mum. If you have a close relationship with your mum of course you would want her to come and stay and help you out! And I'm sure your mum does not mind doing it either!!

    I was lucky that DH had the first 6 weeks after DS was born off work (he also works away) so he was home to help. My parents live 5 minutes away and in the early weeks my mum would cook us meals and bring them round to us. Once DH went back to work mum would come and help me with some housework which was helpful. Even now (DS is 14 weeks) I go round to my parents for dinner a few times a week while DH is away at work so I get a break from cooking! I feel very lucky to have such a good relationship with my mum (and for her to live so close by!).

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to summastarlet For This Useful Post:

    Tazzy  (17-04-2012)

  10. #9
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    I'm going to go out on a limb & say.. Jealous

    I'm so happy to hear you have such a supportive mum! That's great she's able & willing to be there for you & your family like that!

    I didn't/don't have that support from my family but do have wonderful support from DHs family.

    DH works away too, and I'm sure if I asked (DHs family) they'd be more then happy to have an extended stay to help out.

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    Tazzy  (17-04-2012)

  12. #10
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    My cousin had a similar whinge when I had our grandmother come stay for a couple of weeks following baby #2s birth. She also said stuff about me abusing her good nature. I had a csection, a husband who does shift work (often overnight) and a 13mo who wasn't walking.

    My mum came for the days I was in hospital so I didn't have to come home the next day, but she runs a business and lives in another country, so her help was great, but short lived.

    My grandma cooked, cleaned and held the newborn so I could shower, eat and spend time with baby #1, I tended to my two babies and recuperated, my husband worked.


 

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