Nope, I find the needy/insecure thing incredibly unattractive.
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16-04-2012 10:38 #31
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16-04-2012 10:39 #32
16-04-2012 13:40 #33
I know that feeling of wanting them to be a 'tiny bit jealous'. When we'd only been dating about 12 months or so, I was doing modelling. I was pretty insecure, and DF was my first 'real' boyfriend. I thought having them be jealous was a kind of 'rite of passage' of a relationship. I was 16/17 and stupid!
I kind of went out of my way to highlight my friendships with other male models, ridiculous stuff like that. It just caused *huge* trust issues and he became paranoid about my work and it ruined my enjoyment of my modelling and my relationship. It caused a huge amount of distress for him and it could have been avoided had I not been such an immature little twit.
With counselling, we worked past our trust issues to the point that I could enjoy my modelling work without worrying about him becoming jealous. He felt secure again, despite me having gone out of my way to make him feel insecure in our relationship by wanting him to be 'a bit jealous'.
We are stronger now and more mature. I didn't realise at the time that DF was the man I was going to marry. I was too busy acting in a way that I thought conventional teenage relationship behaviour dictated.
Hollywood has a lot to answer for. Uncomplicated, trusting relationships are wonderful. Drama and jealousy create unhappiness. And aren't we with our other halves so that we can be happy?
16-04-2012 14:40 #34
I think a little bit of jealously is a natural response for some people and not others and is not necessarily linked to whether you trust your partner or not. I think wanting your partner to be a little bit jealous might reflect that you have a different natural response to your partner and you want him to have the same as you, but in the end we're all different.
Does he compliment you on how you look? If not this might be a way of you knowing he thinks your beautiful without him exhibiting jealousy?
16-04-2012 15:02 #35Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
First thing is Congratulations on the weight loss...
DP Doesn't get jealous at all... But with my past with previous ex BF's i have a high jealous rate... so kinda makes up for the both of us... I am working on the jealous issue but being cheated on by every ex with either my sister or a friend i kinda am very worried that it will happen again... I hate feeling like this but Dp isn't the best looker but he has the kindest heart anyone could ask for. Kinda feel really sorry for him as he has to put up with me and my issue's lol...
16-04-2012 15:09 #36Happy family
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- Oct 2008
- Seasme Street
My DH doesnt bat an eyelid either. He thinks its awesome when guys try to pick me up. He once high fived a guy when the guy apologised for trying to pick me up, he didnt realise i was with my DH and DH high fived him and said something like nah dont be sorry you think my misses is hot thats awesome
16-04-2012 15:50 #37
I had a similar situation to you Sassy, I lost 30kgs and started getting alot of attention. DH didn't care at all. Never showed any jealousy at all. We would go out to parties or clubs and I would have guys chatting me up, buying me drinks, dancing with me and he never stepped in or said anything. He is a very placid calm person so maybe he just didn't want to cause a scene but sometimes you want them to get all 'hey that's MY woman!' lol. Although he has said a few times that I am such a flirt when I drink but that it doesn't bother him, so maybe he is just that confident in our relationship or something.
16-04-2012 16:48 #38
Yeah, I never wanted some crazy jealous type... I know those exist and I'm glad he's not one of them. A tiny bit of MILD jealousy is something I'd kind of like though.
Perhaps it's because DP seems to place very little value in looks. A PP asks if he comments - and he doesn't. Unless I ask specific questions like, "Do you think I look nice?" he says nothing at all, and the only response I get to those types of question is a nod or "Yep." Nothing particularly overwhelming... the kind of response I give him when he's banging on about tools or something... lol.
I don't go out of my way to make him jealous, because I don't want him to ever think he has to doubt my loyalty... but I suppose I just want SOME kind of reaction to these things. Just a tiny one. I guess it lets me down sometimes... like I start thinking, "Is he just not jealous because he thinks nobody else could possibly put up with me so nobody is a REAL threat to him?"
I have anxiety though, and I tend to think like this about most situations... so I know it's kind of irrational.
Anyway, thanks for all replies!
16-04-2012 17:28 #39
I suppose it just depends on the individual's perception of it all.
Last edited by Witwicky; 16-04-2012 at 17:38.
16-04-2012 18:49 #40
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