getting jealous in a relationship is a huge turn off for me. I had a possessive ex and it was annoying. When we go out and I tell DP that some dude has hit on me he just laughs, it really doesn't bother him. It doesn't bother me that it doesn't bother him.
DP will point out certain girls and say "I like her hair, she is a nice shape, i like what she's wearing etc." Do I feel jealous? No.
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16-04-2012 08:10 #21
16-04-2012 09:13 #22
I dislike it. I think a lot of the stories about partners being jealous are a bit concerning, TBH. I have a friend who has a jealous partner, he gets jealous if she even speaks with another guy. It's not healthy.
ETA: I should add that my DH is the jealous type and has overcome a lot of possessive behaviour. It's icky.
Last edited by Witwicky; 16-04-2012 at 09:45.
16-04-2012 09:16 #23
No, but I occasionally have dreams where she cheats on me and she gets angry at my subconscious for that!
But I trust her 100%. I'm probably the more clingy one, but I'm working on it!
16-04-2012 09:31 #24
My df if I tell him someone flirted with me he asks if I got a free drink or something.
When people used to try to pick me up my DF was the first person id tell and vice versa. Im totally chuffed when df gets hit on. Like ha ha he's mine.
Ive dated a guy that in order to spend time with a friend I had to turn off my phone and then lie and tell him my phone ran out of batteries and that I didnt notice because I was studying and he still cracked it because I should be contactable at all times in case im cheating. He had so much power in the constant accusations that I went out with him and my friends he made me wear his clothes - like pants and shirt massively too big for me - so no one would look at me.
Yeah that didnt last long before I remembered im not that person.
MUCH prefer someone who is totally secure in our relationship that nobody or nothing could threaten him.
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16-04-2012 09:36 #25
Though it did crack me up one time when some random guy was clearly staring at my boobs DF took a sudden step forward and growled. The guy jumped. Bahaha go the cave man response. That I loved.
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16-04-2012 09:43 #26
This is a hard one for me.
We made the decision early on to try hard not put each other in a position where the other spouse could/should get jealous. In saying that I have twice in our 19 year marriage gone a little jealous and I told him out right and he dealt with it there and then. The first I was heavily pregnant (for those on fb know I am very over top emotional in 7th, 8th and 9th month) and the girl that worked at post office that dh had to go to every day started writing little notes and pic on the mail for him. The second time I was living here and he was still living at the old house (18 hrs drive away) while he sold the house. He was training his replacement and had come up for the weekend to see us and he got a text from her calling herself some stupid sexual provocative name. He explain it was her preferred nickname. I still didn't think was appropriate. He spoke to her about and to his boss telling them both that it was inappropriate for her to be calling herself that to him and that if happened again he would take it up with the big boss in US who is a semi famous preacher... Needless to say it didn't happen again.
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16-04-2012 09:59 #27
16-04-2012 10:08 #28
I think being jealous and possessive are two different things. Jealousy is a natural feeling, being possessive is trying to have complete control over somebody or something.
I'm also a very jealous person but I'm definitely not possessive.
16-04-2012 10:14 #29
I say this because my ex bf was possessive. I had to have my mobile on me at all times, had to call him whenever I went out (not that I did) he would get really upset when I went out with my guy mates and even threaten them. I remember he stayed over our place one night with his friend Dave. My friends called me to go out and Dave encouraged me to go out, so I did. Once I left, he almost got into a punch up with Dave because he "let me" go out.
We went to a party one time and if a guy looked at me, he'd try to have a fight with them.
16-04-2012 10:19 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I think I've become quite a jealous person after being cheated on by every boyfriend bar my current one. I trust him more than anyone in this world. But I naturally feel slightly jealous when we have to go out to dinner with his ex collegues and an extremely sleazy woman is there and all over him. I don't see why this is a bad thing. I'm not possessive at all. He goes out with female friends and I wouldn't even blink nor think twice about it. He's the type of man who can genuinely have platonic friendships with women, it's the sleazy woman I don't trust, just as I would NEVER do anything to encourage the sleazy man at my work.
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