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  1. #1
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    Default How to be a confident mother

    I was at a very busy park today and everywhere I looked I see smiling mothers full of life and confidence. It seems that they were just so in control of their little ones and just being happy great mothers.

    Confidence of being a mum just oozed from them and they all had other friends with them laughing and chatting.

    I was once again by myself in the corner all my friend are interstate, working full time or no kids.

    How do I get this? What's the secret mums?? What makes you just so confident?

  2. #2
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    I think you become a confident mother over time as you go through each milestone of a child's life. I know I am more confident mothering my second than my first yet they always throw something else into the mix to make you miss a step as every child is different. My guess is that all those mother's you see at the park aren't as 'confident' or whatever as you think. They are still struggling with toilet training, teething, behavioural issues of the 2-4yr old etc as you are (I'm thinking you have young child/ren). I say go over and meet them or take your child to a playgroup and get involved with other parents. You sound isolated in that there is noone in your situation that you know close by so meet some mother's and you'll see that they are all going through the same things and you'll be able to relate to their problems as they will with yours.

  3. #3
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    i trust myself.
    if something feels wrong i wont do it, i ignore the books that tell me how im spoiling my child and listen to my heart.
    my spirited toddler isnt always an angel, but she is an absolute delight of a social butterfly.
    i respect her limits and dont take her out tired/sick/grumpy, so she is happy to sit and amuse herself while out in public. we interect a lot and spend lots of time playing, reading, singing so she is stimulated and not sitting around bored.

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    jacobsmamma  (13-04-2012)

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    OP I feel the same as you, I can't really answer your question as I don't feel like one of those confident mothers yet. Perhaps a playgroup would be a good idea to take your little one too to meet some other mums. Im in the same boat as none of my friends close to me have kids yet. I joined a mothers group and while I haven't made best friends with the mums I still go every week and enjoy getting out to talk to other mums and my DD loves it too.

    Also agree with what PP said in regards to trusting yourself, something I have struggled with but now i just do what feels right for my DD and me.

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    I think it's an illusion. They look happy and confident out in public, but they probably have the same struggles as everyone else. They just seem to be able to flick a switch that makes them appear confident. People say I look confident - I struggle everyday with my 3 kids, I just don't let people see it. It's not easy. Even having a great mothers group or friends to catch up with you still feel miserable sometimes when you go home as their kids sleep, eat and are healthy.

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    jacobsmamma  (13-04-2012)

  8. #6
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    bellalika is offline I'm trying my hardest, please don't ask for more.
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    Fake it until you make it.

    I'm faking it, and faking it badly some days. I sometimes think some Mum's have faking it down to a fine art.

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    Um, I bet most of them were faking it, praying their little ones don't kick off in public!

    I don't think there are many of us that are truly confident taking toddlers/babies out in public....we always have those worries in the back of our minds, but we learn to take a deep breath and try to forget about them.
    I remember my friend taking her DD (3)to the park one day and me saying the exact same thing to her 'Gosh you always seem so confident when you are out in public with her' and her saying 'Oh are you kidding, im sat here praying she doesn't say her new latest swear word to that kid over there that she picked up from her big brother, im praying she doesn't crap herself because I have forgotten to bring a change of clothes with me and most of all, im praying she doesnt pull down her pants and show everyone her vajayjay which is her latest party trick! '

    I was so shocked!!

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    This makes me feel so much better Thankyou!!


 

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