It's interesting how we percieve other people's lives from what we can see... I am often getting told that i'm super organised or (clean freak) with a 3 year old and 20 month old, that no matter how big of a tantrum dd or ds throws, I seem to just be relaxed and in control, don't let things get to me, and just generally seem cool, calm and collected...
BUT... I don't see it like that. It's not like that at all. Firstly , even though my kids are young, I have OCD, this is why im constantly cleaning. I just can't stand mess, and it gets to me when there is mess... even toys. Even when the kids have their arvo nap, I make sure the toys are all put away, even though i know they will just get them back out again. I HAVE to vacuum everyday. The dishes..... even if there is just one cup in the sink, I can't stand it. I have to wash it. As for the tantrums, I used to let it get to me. I don't cos if i get mad, I really get mad and can't control my temper. So I prefer to do nothing than something. And lastly, if i told anyone who knew me, I have depression, my moods are just up and down, and all over the place, and I am not the easiest person to live with, they would laugh and not believe me.
Some of my friends don't even know I was married to somebody else 10-11 years ago at the age of 19.. I was married to a man who was 9 years older than me, and to put it nicely, my life felt like a dark black hole. He was physically violent and there's more to the story, but I won't go into that here but in the end he ended up cheating on me with my best friend who was 5 months pregnant with her own husband. So I ended up just cutting all friends from my life and was content living friendless. I felt so hurt, It was unbelievable.
Anyway, I found a new batch of friends when I met my now husband at the time, 8-9 years ago and never really felt the need to discuss my old life. Some of them found out and their reaction was ""yeah right!!"".. and would laugh with disbelief. So just goes to show, you don't really know some people at all how you percieve their life to be. My life certainly isn't the picture they paint with roses and all. I have crabby days, am moody, and some days you can't even talk to me. They kids DO get to me and I shut down. But to them I seem like I have it all together. interesting.
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12-04-2012 22:08 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
Other people's lives.. LONG.
12-04-2012 22:16 #2
Wow this is so true, defenetly don't judge a book by its cover
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12-04-2012 22:17 #3
The grass is always greener on the other side isn't it?? I would love to be super organized but I'm not able to facilitate and this depresses me.
Oh she has a wonderful dp, but in reality he is very casual and nothing is on a time schedule.. He lacks monetary skills that I feel as though I have to deal with. I feel I have another child sometimes..
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12-04-2012 22:20 #4
Its true, you never really know what's going on in someone else's life. What challenges they've faced, or still face. Its so easy to make assumptions and judgments that are incorrect, and I think sometimes its because we judge ourselves too harshly. As in its easy to look at a friend and think they have it all together because we judge ourselves as struggling and not managing nearly as well as our friend seems to be.
Thanks for sharing.
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12-04-2012 22:22 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
It is funny you posted this just now as I was just reading drama about a blog that I use to follow and the same thing applied with her, you only ever see what people want to show you.
I think that I have an element of that in my life and it surprises people that I am not as in control as I appear to be.
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12-04-2012 22:27 #6
Thanks for sharing that with us Minchi. I am super guilty of seeing people for face value, and often, of envying what I see. Your story reminds people like me that there's probably more to the person that meets the eye.
It saddens me that you feel you can't talk to your friends about being depressed because they won't believe you maybe if you explained your feelings to them the same way you have done do here then they would listen and believe you and be there for you?
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12-04-2012 22:51 #7
I'm sorry you went through all of that We're here!
I don't know how others see me, jeez I'm a bit afraid to think how bubhubbers view me.
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12-04-2012 23:16 #8
Sorry to hear about your struggles, especially with OCD
Like others have said, you never know what you don't know.. I myself have had a very challenging year, in fact if it weren't for this pregnancy being the only positive, I'd have said it's been one of the worst in the past decade. But people don't see it, because I keep it private. I've had a relapse into my depression and I fight my anxiety on a daily basis. I'm constantly at war with myself in my own head.
On the other hand, I've admired and maybe even felt envy towards people in the past because their lives seemed so "put together" and perfect, but have learned some shocking truths in the past 12 months so have resolved to never judge a book by it's cover, either..
You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
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13-04-2012 07:49 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Great thing to think about, thanks for posting. I'm also a tad OCD and get the same thing they don't see every day I struggle with the guilt of choosing to clean and be organised over spending more quality time with my kids or for myself. I know I'm not going to turn around in 5 years and be proud of how clean my house always was.
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