100% on the same page. As a pp said, we discussed it before we got engaged and then married.
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12-04-2012 18:54 #11
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12-04-2012 18:55 #12
I think for the most part you need to be on the same page otherwise it could cause a lot of arguments, DH and I discussed a lot before we had DS, one major topic of arguments with my ex was about how we would parent and we were pretty opposite which was always a major concern for me.
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12-04-2012 18:56 #13
Sometimes I thnk he is on another planet, and he is very stubborn about these occasional completely unrealistic parenting ideas and won't listen to reason, then I google some info to back up what I'm saying and then he agrees. It's a PIA but he always ends up doing it the right way (my way, lol).
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12-04-2012 19:00 #14
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12-04-2012 19:05 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
DH and I differ alot unfortunately. He is very impatient and expects, IMO, way too much from a 26 month old.
I'm alot more patient and I also don't like to hit/spank. Although he doesn't want to hit, he likes to 'drill' home the behavioural issue for 10 min at a time. Obviously. A 2 year old doesn't have the attention spam fir a lecture of that length.
It's very difficult. I'm at home with the kids ALL the time. DH works long hours but expects to be the parent in the lead. On the flipside because I am home, I kind of expect him to follow my lead as why change things for the short time he is with the kids each day.
We clash alot because of this.
If anyone has any tips on how to reach a compromise id love to hear from you
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12-04-2012 20:30 #16
I subscribe my the theory that it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. So if there is anything I want to let the kids do/let them go then I'll do it when he's not there Then he has to continue along with it!
That does sometimes work, but in all seriousness we are generally on the same page..... Discipline-wise has never been a problem for us....
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12-04-2012 20:38 #17
We've talked about it - but, no in reality we parent differently and it is one of our biggest issues.
DPs the 'do it NOW, because I said so'
and I am more, 'what needs to be done, why do you think you should do it, what might happen if...'
He has little patience, I have more, he gets frustarted at the drop of a hat, it takes a lot to get me raising my voice
...but when in comes down to it - the kids are being influenced by both of us - they are getting a fairly balanced experience and we are building our own relationships.
We don't always present a 'united front' - bad, bad parents
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12-04-2012 20:42 #18
I'm a lot more patient and can deal with the stressful situations better , but regarding our overall view on how to raise , protect, guide and nurture our kids , we are on the same page .
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12-04-2012 21:19 #19
DP and I generally have the same morals and family values despite coming from very different families.
But I do believe in structure, while dp is a go with the flow kinda person. In discipline it makes it hard because I like to have the rules and boundaries in place and agreed upon whilst dp doesn't think that far ahead or deals with it when it occurs if this makes sense..
We both get frustrated when tired and when there is no pre set rule or way of dealing with it, we can get quite cranky and ds gets told off. whereas if we're not tired he gets coddled ect. I just want a consistent approach so ds understands what's expected of him rather than being yelled at when we're having a bad moment.. Iykwim.
12-04-2012 21:21 #20
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