Just thinking that there are some moms here who were told the same and it ended well for them, if she puts in the parenting plan then it is expected what she will and wont put up with, so less issues down the road. You know the laws will let him have access even if he is abusive so thinking she could get it rolling then he cant come back with being able to say she is not letting him have access because she can pony up what she drew up and it would look better if he takes her to court. Again just thinking long term really.
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12-04-2012 15:34 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
12-04-2012 15:35 #12
wow op that is one family that you need to keep away from. this isn't meant to offend you but he sounds like a nasty and dangerous man... or immature and full of bs!! either way i think you will do a wonderful job raising your beautiful child without him.... maybe look st it as a blessing that you found out what they are like before your baby is exposed to threats of violence towards its mother.
keep smiling honey im sure it will all work out for you... if you feel unsafe contact the police xx
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12-04-2012 15:40 #13
op im sorry this has happened to you. i would steer clear of that guy 100%
find a support network (friends and family and your fellow bub hubbers of course)
stay strong. Xo
12-04-2012 15:41 #14-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
while i dont belong in this section, id also be very wary abount this man, he sounds scary!
there are loads of single mums out there who do a great job, its also important to have support from your friends and family, as paarenthood IS hard work, even with a partner!
12-04-2012 15:43 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
If I were you I would contact the police regarding an AVO.
I know it's easier said than done but try not to think too much about any implications after the baby will be born, just try and concentrate on having a healthy and hopefully stress free pregnancy.
You won't be the first single mother and you won't be the last, not easy at times but definitely doable and rewarding.
Big hugs to you, what an awful situation!
The Following User Says Thank You to brooke88(mum2b09) For This Useful Post:
Stiflers Mom (12-04-2012)
12-04-2012 15:43 #16
Am i reading correctly ? did you say he got his ex pregnant in january ? were you still together with him ? he sounds like an irresponsible, immature loser who can't take responsibility for his own actions & then turns around with his mother & threatens you when you have done nothing wrong, it's her son she needs to give a good talking to. Believe me, you are better off without him, i doubt he will change any time soon. There is nothing wrong with being a single parent & every child is a blessing, there is plenty of support out there (including on here)
Good luck to you & congrats
12-04-2012 15:55 #17
And i'm sorry but before you start preaching about the law & what rights she will & won't have, parenting orders etc, you don't know the details of her individual circumstance & you are not a lawyer, every situation is different.
13-04-2012 18:43 #18
[QUOTE=loumia;6498521]I'm sure there are plenty of similar situations & the father eventually did a complete turn around & was a positive part of his child's life, but that ISN'T what's happening right now in the OP's life & right now, her best decision is to probably keep as far away as she can from her ex & his psycho mother. SHE THREATENED A PREGNANT WOMANAnd i'm sorry but before you start preaching about the law & what rights she will & won't have, parenting orders etc, you don't know the details of her individual circumstance & you are not a lawyer, every situation is different.[/QUOTE]With respect, neither do you. LMF was giving the OP some advice, the OP can take or leave it as she sees fit. I saw nothing that LMF wrote that was irrelevant or worthy of the agro it has recieved.It is actually GOOD advice to tell the OP to protect herself legally with parenting plans/orders, because physically abusive people are usually manipulative to some degree also. The OP also mentioned that the father of her child is much younger than her, he could be very, very young and while he did 100% the wrong thing, he may come around and step-up. Honestly, the OP wrote in a very hard to read manner and I am not so sure that some wires may not have gotten crossed on here at some point. Yes, the father's mum is a ***** and an AVO is probably a good idea. That doesn't negate the fact that if OP has this baby, this baby will have a father and that father MAY want some contact with his child. If this contact can be facilitated without compromising the safety of the OP then I think it needs to be done. There are contact centres, court protections etc and no reason why this child should be kept from the father IF the father wishes to have contact. The father has NOT abused the child, there is NO evidence that abuse will take place (and no, saying "I don't want the child" does not = proof positive that the child will be abused). This reaction is more common than people think, and surprise, surprise some men do come around and become good fathers - some others do not. OP is only 10 weeks pregnant, I think we need to see how the father reacts and behaves closer to the birth or when the baby is born before we all make judgement calls in his rights (or lack, thereof) to have contact with the child. Once the shock wears off and he warms up the idea (he sounds scared to me) then he might in fact surprise everyone and be a good dad. Same deal with his mum, who may eventually dote on her grandchild. Yes, she should steer clear of this man and his mum for now, while she does not legally have to have anything at all to do with them BUT, that doesn't mean it isn't sage advice to tell her to start looking at how she can best protect her rights, while also serving her responsibilities to her CHILD. Get and avom sure...she has the right to be safe from the nutcase mother. While she's at it she could also look at what she'll need in order to co-parent effectively with the father of her child. Regardless of their relationship, that child DOES have the right to know his/her father, until such time as that relationship becomes dangerous for the child (which clearly hasn't happened yet given that the child is still in utero). Quite frankly, it's attitudes on this thread that make it so hard for single mothers to ditch the "bitter, spiteful ***** who won't let her ex see her kids" stereotype....Most single mothers are not like that, but reading this thread anyone would be forgiven for thinking that all we want is to exclude the father out of our children's lives. Also, if it was a pregnant women on here saying she hated being pregnant, was scared and really wanted an abortion, everyone on here would be saying how she'll come around and how she'll love the baby when he/she is here and how it's ok to be scared. Why is it different for the father? Are they not allowed to experience fear, insecurity or anger at what has happened? Is it not possible that he, too can 'come around' and love the child once he/she is born?
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