I have always been a 'fag hag' lol! My best friend and I were like siblings (he is an only child and he develops sibling like friendships), TBH I lost interest in most of my old friends after highschool anyway except for two of my best gay mates AND MY dp who is a good friend. I had my DD when I was 20 (I am now 24) My two best mates moved 1000's of km's away and we sort of just drifted apart, it had nothing to do with my daughter, they both love my daughter, we are all in very different places now, our friendship served a purpose for all of us and it ran it's course. We still love chatting every now and then and I visit them every few years, I love them both like family.
I take a long time to make good friends because I get severely anxious. I just kept trying different parent groups and social circles until I finally found one I love (it took a while). I have changed alot since my DD was born, and even since she turned 3, but I think a lot of that is just down to getting older as well. I still like to party occasionally bit I also love to go camping, hiking with and on picnics with other families.
I think for me the first 2 years of DD's life I was adjusting from a carefree life to family life and it took time to develop good friendships with new people who I clicked with.
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02-07-2012 11:44 #51Senior Member
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13-07-2012 05:33 #52
Just out of interest, has anyone felt shut out of their friendship circles, only to have some of those people reach out again when they start having kids of their own??
I have a feeling I will lose friends - some feel distant now - when bubs is born. I understand to a point. A lot of them are guys, and are still in the partying phase (even though we're 25) and they just don't get it. Hopefully the people that really matter will still be there
13-07-2012 08:04 #53
I believe however that once we're finished having children, our friends will JUST be settling down...so there will be some age gaps
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13-07-2012 09:11 #54
I think our situation will be similar, whitetulips.
It's not their fault, we're just in different stages of life. One friend of DF actually asked if we were keeping the baby when we told him! I felt like saying "we've been together for over 8 years and were engaged and in a good place, OFCOURSE!!!" it's not that he's heartless, he just doesn't get where we're at.
I think it's mean when friends desert us when we have kids (especially in some of the situations pp have talked about) but I also understand that in a lot of ways our lives are different after kids..
It's tough being the first to do something
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13-07-2012 14:04 #55
13-07-2012 14:13 #56
Yep know the feeling I had what I thought were good friends till my son arrived had him when I was 17 and I don't talk to any of them anymore I had my 2nd &3rd at 19 and 21 I'm just starting to find new friends but it's hard I met 2 ladies and they came across as normal but they were stoners (I'm so against drugs ) why can't I meet normal people
13-07-2012 15:24 #57
29-07-2012 15:42 #58Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Dont we all know it ladies, Im a new mum with little man only 4 weeks and its amazing how quickly your ''friends'' drop offline, i found it mostly to be as they didnt want to grow up, they werent ready, still enjoying the drinks, parties, clubs and other behaviour that well as a mum you dont really look forward to anymore. Ive found that every now and then when do i want to head out have a few drinks etc. that after a while its pretty boring and i would rather socialise with people that have stories other than who they hooked up with or how much than drank at a party. But in saying that the worse thing would have been making the effort to organise outings with them and catch up visits even with bub and having them make excuses and avoiding me all together especially when while i was pregnant i made the effort to see them.
But i guess thats the pickle, having a child matures us all, and some people just refuse to grow up.
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