I firstly want to say a big thankyou to every one who's posted in here! I've struggled for years after losing all but 1 of friends (some we had been 'friends' for 15+ years!) after making the choice 9 yrs ago to continue with my pregnancy and have my son at 17. Even now it makes my chest ache wondering what I did so wrong, am I that different, was it so hard to understand my choice, why did none of them ask why or how or rather where we're they at all, ever?
And its impacted my trust spectrum infinitely! I struggle to make friends, to trust that my 'mummy drama' isn't going to be the last point of contact, more so now being in a totally new area and 1200km away from the friends Ive made since ds1.
Hearing that most of you having kids at 'normal' ages still dealt with the same response is something that never occurred to me (maybe because I was too busy wondering what fault I played rather than how their hand played out in my life) and that knowledge has given me just that little bit of hope that I didn't totally screw everything up and it'll be okay
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10-05-2012 19:43 #41
11-05-2012 08:47 #42
Sorry havent replied lately.
Seems we all loose our "good" friends but make new ones who stick by us. Its amazing how much our lives change when we have a baby or get pregnant or move on that some friends just dont grow up with us. Im glad im not alone when it comes to losing friends but sad that it just happens. Least I have support from you all knowing im not alone and that old friends can be rude and not nice to us when we grow up to look after our children and not continue to not grow up.
Is anyone from south eastern suburbs of melbourne? Im from langwarrin. Its a great neighbourhood but everyone is alot older and have kids in high school and primary school. None with little toddlers like me
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11-05-2012 08:49 #43
shame your so far away!
anyone from western sydney?
11-05-2012 08:56 #44
I lost most of my 'friends' even my so called bestie when I found out I was pregnant (19yrs old). Pregnancy sure did sort out who was a true friend and who wasnt.
After dd1 was born I joined a young mothers group and sadly when you turn 21 ur suddenly to old for it. But I made friends through that and catch up with them every now and then. I also take my kids to a local play group. Even if you dont make friends with others straight away in least you're in a social setting where your child can play with others and you can introduce yourself to other parents and have a chat with them.
But I feel where you're coming from. Even to this day I miss daily adult interaction to the point I am so keen to find a job and work just to get out of the house and be around adults.
Maybe put a search out here on bub hub for mothers in your local area with either children same age as your child. Or around your own age?
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24-05-2012 07:15 #45
I lost alot of my friends but have made a few distant pleasant "Hi how are you" friends through DF but nothing more. I do have friends scattered all over the country though but none I hang out with
I think sometimes people get scared when babies come along and think life stops for you altogether.
I'd love for some mummy friends...I'm 24 and find it extremely hard. People just don't take to me well even though I'm really nice and a good person!
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24-05-2012 17:31 #46
Awwww white tulips
25-05-2012 07:17 #47
Some people can be so mean! It makes me frustrated and sad at the same time. I mean we take the time to get to know people who become our friends and soon as we get pregnant or have a baby there not their when we need the support or when we just want to talk to someone other than baby talk. When did friends start to become strangers again
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26-05-2012 07:35 #48Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I totally agree!! I had ds1 and moved at the same time, I was left with no friends. I think you really just have to get involved in anything were you meet new peps. I hopefully will start a mothers group and started to be a avon representive, hopefully I can get a social life back!!!
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26-05-2012 18:54 #49
26-05-2012 20:18 #50
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