You poor mummy! You have done absolutely nothing wrong, I feel that perhaps you have been given poor advice and naturally being a new mum and feeling pretty clueless we listen and take advice from the people who are supposed to know! If it's something that you feel really strongly about maybe you could look into relactation. I did a quick google search and it seems that it may be possible to get your milk supply back and try again. Definitely worth a visit to a lactation consultant. My daughter was breast & bottle fed from 3 months to 14 months (I work 3 days a week) and sometimes she was fussy and I had to express and give her a bottle, but then a few days later she was happy to breastfeed again. Best of luck to you! your son is very lucky to have a mummy who obviously loves him so much.