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  1. #21
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    hi, i actually just made an account because i am having the same kind of problem as you and wanted to ask about it.
    I feel your pain! it will be 7wks tomorrow since i had my son, i had both 2nd and 3rd degree tears =( we've tried to dtd a couple of times but (sorry tmi!) he cant even get in, it burns like im about to tear open again if he tries. it feels like they sewed me half shut! dont really know what to do now. maybe im still healing even though day to day i feel fine.
    could they have sewed me too tight? am starting to get a bit freaked out i thought i'd be fine by now and i miss the intimacy with my partner

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummyb25 View Post
    hi, i actually just made an account because i am having the same kind of problem as you and wanted to ask about it.
    I feel your pain! it will be 7wks tomorrow since i had my son, i had both 2nd and 3rd degree tears =( we've tried to dtd a couple of times but (sorry tmi!) he cant even get in, it burns like im about to tear open again if he tries. it feels like they sewed me half shut! dont really know what to do now. maybe im still healing even though day to day i feel fine.
    could they have sewed me too tight? am starting to get a bit freaked out i thought i'd be fine by now and i miss the intimacy with my partner
    I think you are expecting too much of your body. Give yourself more time to recover from childbirth and the repairs your body as had done to it. I had an interal 2nd degree tear and it was ages before I wanted to have penetrative sex. plus if you are breastfeeding your hormones are wonky and you will need lots of lube to make it 'less dry' and easier to 'enter'. plus your partner might need to make sure lots of foreplay is involved. as in LOTS OF

    you can do other stuff to be intimate just leave the actual intercourse for a bit.

  3. #23
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    . For me it was at least 1 year until things felt even remotely normal.

    ***Sent from my phone***

  4. #24
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    DD will be 10wks in a couple of days and we still haven't gone there yet. 1) I have no desire to, poor dh and 2) the prospect does actually scare me!!

    Sent from my HTC Liberty using BubHub

  5. #25
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    subscribing

    nice to know i'm not alone, bubs will be 9mths old this weekend, hubby and i have only done dtd twice

  6. #26
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    mummyb25, I agree with Izzys Mummy, you do have to give your body time to recover. Everybody seems to have such a different experience with birth and recover at such different rates too! DTD is better for me now (13wks since the birth) but it still doesn't feel 'normal' like it used to, still a bit like you described as like i've been sewn shut half way but once he gets past that point in, it's ok! Getting better all the time is what I mean to say and don't stress, or try not to!It may never be exactly the way it used to but I'm damn sure it will be just as great in other ways and in time!!

  7. #27
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    My DS is 4 months old (18 weeks) and it still hurts ALOT!!!! I had a 4th degree tear as a result of a forceps delivery. Have only actually had s3x once. Every other time it hurts so we don't go any further. I'm seeing a physio once a week atm to help.

  8. #28
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    I had 2nd degree tears and stitches and we couldn't DTD properly for about 20 weeks. The first few times it just hurt too much and felt like I was blocked or stitched too much. TMI!!!

    It does get better and back to normal again though. Just takes time and patience

  9. #29
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    I tore horrifically and had stitches internally and externally with my first. We lasted 2 weeks post birth to try DTD. It hurt too much so we waited another week. Bingo!! Was still tender but we took our time and used lots of lube and it helped. So a whole 3 weeks!

    DD2 was a week and a bit after I gave birth. I only had first degree tear and a bit of grazing with no stitches with her so was good to go sooner lol.

  10. #30
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    Hi all we waited 3 months to even attempt to dtd after dd was born, NO WAY was dh getting near me after that!! I had am episiotomy with 4 stitches which ain't that bad I know woman who have been through much worse but psychologically I just couldn't get into that space!!! It took 6 months for it to start getting comfortable even now 9 months later it can feel a little uncomfortable in certain positions!! Woohoo to all you brave ladies giving it a crack so soon!!


 

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