The things I mentioned in the other thread don't make me want to be nasty about it. It isn't that kind of jealousy for me, just more of a saddness. The only "real" jealousy I have felt it when I was with my ex. It was the only type of jealousy that seemed to turn to anger... when I think of it my heart feels like it is clenching. I don't like that in myself, but am not sure how to stop it either. It is the only time I have ever come close to feeling out of control.
Oh and I have also had jealousy over pregnancies before too. That one has consumed me before and almost ruined an amazing friendship. But these days it just makes me feel unbelievably sad
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04-04-2012 17:56 #11
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04-04-2012 17:58 #12
04-04-2012 18:02 #13
I don't let jealousy affect my relationships, I don't think I really get jealous as such. But for example someone close to us earns over $200,000 a year and has no debt he constantly complains to my dp that he's got nothing, he calls often to whinge about his situation and here's us a family of three living off about $500 a week max, no car, just moved into dp's parents house etc but I would never tell him to complain elsewhere just because I would rather be in his financial situation. He's obviously unhappy and dp and I are just going through a down time while i'm staying at home and we reassess some personal things.
So I guess i'm jealous of the "possibilities" this person has but wouldn't let that affect my relationship with them.
I think when it comes to close friends and family jealousy shouldn't intefere.
I'm sorry op that you have to deal with that in your life!
Baby wearing, co-sleeping, booby feeding mummy to one
04-04-2012 18:20 #14
My main thing is being envious of people who have family support, I am happy for them, it does hurt when someone talks about it with me, I guess I grieve for the close relationship my children don't have with their grandparents, I grieve for ending up in Tokyo when I always planned on being in Paris. The random times my parents do get to see my children they are always caring for my nieces too and I guess I feel like they never really get to 100% enjoy that time. The other day my mum came over alone and I had to try really hard not to cry seeing her being able to hold DD without my nieces distracting her. I was really upset that night I guess I miss the "support" but the grief over the lost relationship hurts a lot more.
04-04-2012 18:20 #15
It depends what kind of jealousy. I'm very jealous of my sister, truthfully. She's engaged to a great guy, and they're building a house together. She has a great life, and she's earned it. But I internalise that jealousy, because I would never want it to have an effect on our relationship.
Then there's the kind of jealousy when some teenage girl with no kids and next to no clothes is fawning all over DP, and that kind makes me want to smack a b!tch
Though I don't know if that's entirely jealousy...or just rage. I'm jealous of what other people my age (that haven't had kids) look like, sometimes.
And people with extravagant lives make me jealous, and that just makes me a bit mopey...but also inspires me.
04-04-2012 18:38 #16
I can feel instantly low and depressed for the entire rest of the day if jealousy gets ahold of me.
I am most likely to be jealous of the way another person looks, and if my DP is around when they are, I can often have panic attacks. My reaction is abnormal, which is one reason I'm on medication for my anxiety disorder, but it still happens that way. If I don't have a panic attack, I instead just get really really quiet and nervous, and want to run away from the situation and go home and cry. I spend a lot of time in bed silently sulking to myself when I'm feeling jealous.
It does depend what I'm jealous about though... but normally it's looks. I am pretty confident in myself in other ways. I don't doubt my intelligence or anything, so that never comes into it.
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04-04-2012 18:45 #17
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04-04-2012 19:03 #18
ATM I'm feeling a great deal of jealousy, or maybe envy is a better word? over those that fall pg easily. Particularly those that well, don't look after their kids properly but keep having more. It's a spit in the eye for me.
When it's friends/family I just smile and say congrats! that's wonderful!... then go home and cry I don't want my issues ruining their special moment so I don't let on how upset I am. For those that really don't deserve more children - and if we're honest there are people out there that don't.... well I don't know how to overcome those feelings. I'm going thru a low atm bc someone that I know that neglects her kids is pg, YET AGAIN and another accident, she has a tribe that she doesn't even look after properly yet here we are, nearly a year later still trying I don't know how to process the fairness in that, and I've cried a whole lot over it.
04-04-2012 19:20 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
My jealousy was of those who are married. It doesn't affect friendships of mine because I don't see it in a bad way iykwim. I want to be married and I'm jealous of those who have someone who wants to marry them, but I'm genuinely happy for them. It's not worth thinking about really.
04-04-2012 19:28 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
I'm honestly not really a jealous person. I tend to be all a tad Pollyanna about things and friends and life in general.
Obviously I do have moments where I envy people elements of their life, but I'd never swap what I have.
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