I say just do what needs to be done leave the rest and he will get sick of it. I say that in theory if like my husband he doesn't care I get sick of it first and do it. But just do what has to be done the rest will wait. Who cares what the house looks like
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08-04-2012 19:57 #11Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
08-04-2012 20:45 #12
Yeah i think a quiet little strike is in order. 'My shirts aren't ironed'??? are his hands broken or something? Is an iron too complicated for him?
Have a little strike and wait for the right moment to have a non-confrontational chat about the situation, maybe in the meantime make up a list of chores and at some point divvy them up between you... maybe having it all down in writing will show him what has to be done every day.
He sounds a bit entitled tbh, you don't sound like a loser, I think its a pretty common problem really, with men who have been raised without knowing what it means to run a house
08-04-2012 20:59 #13
Ur amazing for everything you do...wow! He has it way too good as it is and is just stupid for complaining about little bits of mess around. Like the others said, he's being a total slackarse and taking you for granted coz he knows u wanna be at home.
My DH was in a similar situation before I had DS and worked at home for himself and income was all over the place but now he's stable and still does his share of the chores.
You need to sit him down when he's calm and have a strong word to him. Let him take care or the two kids for an hour without U being around and show him what full-on work it is. I only have one child and am run off my feet attending to him... Gud luck
08-04-2012 21:16 #14
09-04-2012 05:53 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Ahhhh this made me so angry! It's Stay At Home MUM not MAID!
My DP has been acting similar lately, as I had our baby at 28w so everything was a bit crazy. I'm up the hospital multiple times a day visiting her in NICU so housework doesn't get done on a regular basis plus when I'm home I'm expressing milk every two hours! That also means I started maternity leave early.
Well - DP started going on about me spending "his" money as I no longer work... So I just went and withdrew all of "my" pay out of our joint account and transferred half of our savings to my account too. I also stopped doing anything for his daughter (my step-daughter) who lives with us FT.
Let's just say OUR money is all back in the proper accounts, DP mops the floors after I vacuum etc and SD has learnt to do some of her jobs around the house too.
Sometimes you really need to do a big WTF to them to get them to understand. You can't be *everything* all the time.
You aren't a loser, he's acting like a prat!
09-04-2012 08:12 #16
Gosh, I don't know how you live with him. I would have whacked him with a frypan by now!
I'd go on complete strike. Show him what doing nothing really looks like. Works ever time.
Love your work ElleB!!
09-04-2012 10:12 #17
Omg your not a loser, HE is the loser!!!!!
So he sat at home 'deciding what to do' while you worked, your son was in daycare and you still cooked and cleaned?! WTF was he doing then?
Now he has the nerve to critique and say 'that was the past this is now' you are actually DOING something and that something is pretty damn important, raising your kids!!!!
He needs a swift kick up the ar5e if he thinks 'plenty if women around the world do it' Id be throwing back 'plenty of men don't sit at home doing nothing while their wives work and their kids are in daycare but you didn't see me complaining!!'
Sorry but your post has painted him to be a total douche!!!!
13-04-2012 15:21 #18Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
You are absolutely NOT a loser. Your hubby has it all wrong! Just becuz ur an AHSM , does not make u his personal slave. My husband works 14 hours a day with super super heavy lifting, he lifts granites! Humongous ones. When he gets home, he is close to tears becuz of backache. He pays for everything, he does his own laudnry, if kitchen is dirty, he washed dishes, empties the dishwasher and etc.... I have never in 9 years done his laundry for him. Infact, he askd me if I have any dirty clothes for him to do laudnry for me. Then, believe it or not, he knows that while I am prego, it is his responsibility to fingure out what we will have for dinner. He does it all with a smile on his face.
Now, I do feel bad, but i do also feel that men treat u how u allow them to treat u. Do not let him get away with it. How come ur hubby did nothing while he was an at home stay dad? and right now u breastfeeding, having no sleep at all, taking care of a baby and a child, he expects the works? I hope u don't do it!
13-04-2012 15:35 #19
In the same boat over here op.
i was told today im unreliable when i do absolutely everything for df except wipe his a**! grrrr :steam coming out of ears!:
19-04-2012 09:56 #20
Geez! I'd rather be single and doing it all on my own then be with a lazy man like that. Shame on him. Do not do a damn thing for him. Don't cook his dinner, don't iron his shirts etc etc. See what he says then.
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