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  1. #1
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    Default does anyone ever feel like just giving up on it all?

    Hi,

    I was a single mum over 4 years ago I'm now happily remarried to a husband who my daughter knows as Dad- she doesnt see her biological father at all. he is currently taking us to court for access and my daughter 4 will have to got contact centre to see him. she doesnt want to go.

    he has been a constant presence in my life (pain in the neck) since we split up via phone/text/email he just hasnt wanted to be phyically present in her life. he is mentally and physically abusive and i have a restraining order against him. my lawyer says he will get supervised contact then eventual unsupervised.

    i really cant deal with this,with him in my life i hate what he does to my life and how he makes me and my husband and my daughter feel.

    i would never give my daughter up but i have thought about it as i dont see how i can cope with this for the next 14 years, dont know how i can have him in our lives for next 14 years. i hate how the courts decide what is right for my daughter. she basically might as well not be mine.

    i know i'm a terrible parent for thinking this and posting it but i just wanted to know if anyone else had even thought this just for a second?i feel so alone, how could i even think of giving her up for my piece of mind right?i just feel like i'm in a prison sentence through no fault of my own.

    help!

  2. #2
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    I often fee like that - like running away. My ex husband has also been a pain in our lives, upsetting the children and letting them down a lot by not showing up. He's all about 'his rights' yet can't commit to the follow through. When I'm cleaning poo of my hands for the 5th time that day as both my youngest are having toilet training issues - and I hang another load of washing out and deal with another fight between the children.. then I get a nasty text from my ex (you missed is visitation for no reason yet again) saying something like 'you are just trying to keep the children from me... I have my rights and I demand xyz' I feel like say 'sure.. take them!!!!' but I think that's normal considering what we have to do alone. Be thankful you have a new husband that loves you and supports you.

    yes your ex has 'rights' to see your daughter.. yep she doesn't want to see him because she doesn't know him ...

    but think of it this way.. he has to see her at a visitation centre and I've heard that's pretty humiliating. you have custody/he has problems. she loves and knows you/she doesn't know him or love him. at the end of the day she knows who raised her, fought for her and loves her.. and if your ex is anything like mine.. he won't stick to any sort of court ordered agreement for long.. it will all just become too much trouble and I bet you find he starts not showing up after a few months.

    don't give up..

  3. #3
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    It may not be 14 years at a certain age she can decide and he will have to live with that. Look on the bright side she can make up her own mind later but don't let her see you being mean to him because she can also decide to love with him. Remember it's not forever

  4. #4
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    Yes I have moments when I think about this but my reasons are different to yours. It does leave me feeling bad that this crosses my mind at all but I think this is a pretty normal reaction to an abnormal situation.


 

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