Do you think it's wrong to have a second baby when your just making ends meet now?
We are considering another child but we are only just getting by at the moment. We are living with my mother so we can get back on our feet, but I feel like its just being selfish to want another when I am only just paying the bills now. If I were younger I would wait but DH and I aren't young enough to wait 5 or 10 years.
I am so confused and stressed thinking about it, I want another child but really feel like I am just being selfish it wouldn't be fair on DS and the other child if I did have another.
What's your thoughts on having a second child? If you had a second when you were just making ends meet what was your reason? If you could go back and do it again would you (not considering your love for the child but your ability to provide for them)
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02-04-2012 22:33 #1
Do you think it's wrong?
02-04-2012 23:33 #2
We did it. We wanted our child to have a sibling close in age. We reasoned that the costs of two babies wasn't much more than one baby. I think we were right. We also ended up with two of the same gender so all clothing was reused. Our situation has improved a lot these days, but even though at the time it wasn't easy, I think it was the right choice.
02-04-2012 23:41 #3
Sorry to hear things are so financially tricky for you at the moment.
To be honest, at the start of the post I was thinking "if things are that tight its probably best to wait..." but when I read that your age is a factor that could affect fertility, that made me think it's better to have the extra child you want and struggle financially for a few years than to not have the child and have 'more' sooner whilst feeling like there's someone missing for the rest of your life.
Provided you aren't homeless, your family's memories of not eating out and struggling with bills will be replaced with future happy memories of your new family member.
Edited to add that I dont mean to trivialise financial stress - if that could seriously negatively impact your family at the moment, it's best to weigh the extent of that with the extent of your sense of loss at not having another child.
Last edited by EchoSummers; 02-04-2012 at 23:52.
03-04-2012 06:02 #4-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
It depends how old you are. If you're under 34 I'd wait until you can at least afford your own house. If you're over 34 chat with your doctor. If you decide to go ahead it would help to have a plan about how you're going to have your own house by the time bub arrives.
03-04-2012 06:08 #5
It's not something I would do, especially since another child for us would mean needing a bigger house and new car. I don't understand people that plan to fall pregnant and then start complaining about the money and things they need when they planned it, but if you have a big enough house and car and still have most of the essentials then I would go for it. Especially with the age as a factor.
03-04-2012 06:08 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
I'd have another one. I don't think the difference between 1 and 2 is much personally and I didn't feel they really starting costing money til they started kinder, and moreso school anyway so you'll have a few years to get back on track.
03-04-2012 06:12 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
If age is a factor I say go for it, as hard as it can be at times (have been in a similar financial situation after ending up homeless with 8 month old twins after ex kicked us out), you learn to manage because you have too!
Can you put your name down for community housing?
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